Every year during Christmas Day we have our family prayer at home, its our traditional way to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Not that we are a holy perfect and perfect family but we are sinners. We are the imperfect family, we quarrel, we have our own problems, we don’t have same opinion and at some point we annoyed each other but we share our problems, give our thoughts and find solutions.
Asking God to help our family in our life journey, we asked for blessings, forgiveness and peace in our family and the world. We pray because we are sinners and we want God to be the center in our family. I believe Christmas is the day we reflect on ourselves, have we treat people the way we want people treat us or have we share peace and love to people around us?
How do we celebrate Christmas? We worry ourselves with so many questions in our mind… from what to cook, what present to buy, should i buy toys, stationery for my nephews and nieces, or maybe buy violin or guitar for my musician nephews (pretty confusing and mind damaging 🙁 sometimes). Nevertheless, what theme or color and style your family want to create this Christmas Day.
I am still that worry and confuse person but not too much these days, thanks to age .. i become wiser and more simpler. As much as many things and many places i wanted to go and to be… being with family is the best thing.
This is our family and this is the memories we and our children will remember .. Christmas Day is a day to Pray Together, Eat Together, The Giving of Gifts (somehow only kids have presents) yes a Family Togetherness.
I am Thanking God for this wonderful imperfect family i have, for the love we share and for everything we been through.. the bad, worse and the sweetness in life.
Thank you dad & mum (Mr. Bonnie Hunggim & Rose Indus) for sharing with us the sweet and bitterness in life, for showing us that life is imperfect but with God life is good.. life is perfect in our own way.
Thank you brother and sister inlaw ( Bonaventure Boniface & Doreen Chong) even though you are younger than me but you show full responsibility and leadership in our family. My one and only sister inlaw Doreen.. you are my angel and great guardian to my children. Nobody can ever make my asperger son pray like you did. Such angel you are… i almost cried when i see Sean pray with confidence, you give me hope and faith in God.
My sister Sharon and husband, Geofrey. Who am i to judge your family and what you have been through but i know God is always there in your family. All i want for Christmas today and forever is to see you grow! grow in faith..grow in family union. Where there is forgiveness.. there is always place for LOVE. Thank you for being a sweet joy of love .. you children are wonderful because how to show them and how God works in their life.
My younger sister Shell and husband, Alexander. I love you guys so much.. May god always be with you and guide your journey in whatever you do.
and last but not least..my dear husband.. Christopher. We are the imperfect family who come together and make life beautiful in our own way.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Have you ever signed in to your facebook account in the morning facing at angry statement, dissatisfaction, picture of murder and different type of annoying story. I have probably contribute such annoying story to others too.
We cant stop anyone from expressing their anger or whatever dissatisfaction they have through social media and sometimes we too have the tendency to do the same. Probably the time we don’t have anyone to talk to.. so we decide to burst it to the fb wall… our fb friend will eventually comment agreeing, some might not but it wont hurt. But after a while, once things a bit calmer and you look back at what you posted, you realized that it shouldn’t be written or shared.
Expressing your thoughts or feelings through writing is good but how and where are you posting it. You posting a hatred message about someone in your FB friend just to get the person notice it, would make harm to you one day. Probably the person won’t feel the pain but their family or friends will be affected. And you won’t want people talk about you openly.. do you?
WRITE IT DOWN
Another way you can ease your anger is by writing it down in a paper or diary. Just let down your emotions. Write what your feelings about and why do feel that way… asked yourself.. the five important questions to help you seek your answer.
Its good to express your feelings and thoughts to other people, as it can ease your worry or burden but if you have problem with someone, once and for all meet and talk to resolve it. Expressing it verbally and in a nice way is better. In any conflict, a good communication will helps find solution. You have good feedback, ease your burden and a relax mind.
EXPLORE YOUR FEELINGS
Some feelings just need to be explored.. accept it with open mind and released. Breath and let it go.. the deeper you breath the more you feel better deep inside. Use your emotional intelligence in dealing with your emotions, making sure you know your worries, anger and sadness will not hurt you or anyone else.
Look at yourself and examine your emotional intelligence trait. Which type are you? learn to discover yourself.
ITS OK TO CRY
Embrace yourself, feel that feeling in that moment. If you are sad, it is not wrong to cry.. cry! let it out.. you are sad.. why keeping it inside? too much sadness inside will lead you into depression. If you hold grudge towards others, learn to forgive. Nobody says its easy to forgive but when you forgive you will learn to live.
I know its hard to do but eventually we need to learn to forgive to make a peace in ourselves.
SEEK HAPPINESS WITHIN YOU
Eventually when we are angry, we tend to blame others. “He makes me feel like this”.. ” if not of him/her.. i won’t be like this”. “i am too stupid”… ” i am sick because he/she make me this way”
You own your mind.. your brain is in your head. You control your own feelings. Do not allowed other people to take charge of your emotions. Learn to heal yourself, its your duties and responsibilities to take care of yourself.
Focus on positive things in life, there are relatives and friends who are they for you when you are in sorrow. Go share with them good laugh, happy memories and say thank you for being there for you.
Find something to be grateful each day. I was sicked yesterday, almost die but I LIVE! I SURVIVE! Thank you GOD!
I AM HAPPY! because i choose to be happy. I want to be happy and i want to share this happiness to others.
Always start your day with positive affirmation and end your day with thankfulness.
Thank you for your time! have a nice wonderful day 🙂
I attended a Seminar on Family Therapy by Dr. Fred Toke, PsyD (Lee Community College, Singapore), participants mostly Counselors, Psychotherapist, Lecturers and others in the same related feel. It is quite interesting, as there are also a sharing experiences by a young lady who had gone divorce process. To her, she sees her experience as a ‘I am free’ and there are also amongst the participants that i sense, not quite agreed with her. We can’t be judgmental on a person, we don’t know what they been through.
“Till death do us part…” a promise given by two individuals in a marriage matrimony. There are no perfect marriage, understanding and trust are based in a good marriage. Sometimes, a marriage can be in trouble but yet there are always solution in making sure there are no broken promises. No ideal marriages that we can relate to but we can create our own ideal marriages between the couples.
We can’t be judgmental in anyone’s marriage, some look as they are not happy but they are happy with each other its just they don’t show it. Some looks like a marriage made in heaven yet its breaking inside. No matter which one yours belong to, nobody should judge you because nobody can help you. God will guide you if you asked and if both spouses work together to mend the relationship.
When we senses our marriage in trouble, the first think couple usually react is to tell others rather than talking to the spouse. The problem is that men seems don’t really cares or listened because they don’t reply much but women tend to talk too much as they forgot to listen. If there are problems, communication is the best way to search for the cause and effect.
Some family keep problems within their family, depending of what problems and how they handle their problems. There are many problems in each family, to have a family meeting is a good way of communication and let children share their opinion.
Problems such as financial, study, relationships are normal in family..but there are no rooms for abuses in family.
“Emotional abuse is any nonphysical behavior or attitude that controls, intimidates, subjugates, demeans, punishes or isolates another person by using degradation, humiliation or fear” (www.focusonthefamily.com).
There are two kind of abuses, emotional and physical. Physical abuse is when someone hurts or injured you on purpose leaving scars and bruises. It is easier for a wife and those surround to recognize that she’s being abused.
Emotional abuse, however, is much more insidious and not quite as visible. Certainly, a wife’s self-esteem and spirit are battered along with her body in the case of physical and verbal abuse, but a husband can kill his wife’s spirit without even raising a hand or voice against her. For this reason, many women don’t even know they’re being abused, or if they do it’s a long and difficult battle not only to work to repair the damage done themselves, but to get the abuser to recognize the harm that he’s done.
“Nonphysical behavior or attitude” can safely be interpreted to mean neglect, invalidating another’s thoughts and feelings, and refusing to acknowledge the needs of the other (whether intentionally or not). Over a period of time, this kind of emotional climate in a marriage can squeeze the life out of a marriage and out of a wife. (EmpowHER)
There are always helps… nobody deserve to be treated such way…and its not your fault .. you are the victim. Same goes to the predator, help are needed to threat such behavior. Search for the root of cause, we are all born ‘white’ these spots of sin need to be cleared before we die. Save your souls!
Family is a journey … Husband is the pilot and wife is the co-pilot. Both set goals and vision for their family.. somehow pilot get tired, co-pilot need to take charge without going over the pilot tittle. The children are the crew of the ship.. to make the journey smooth sailing.. everybody needs to work together. It needs more than love, hope, patience.. family needs God. Family that prays together, stays together.
This is only my personal opinion, i can be wrong because i am not perfect myself and i do learn from others, also from my husband and children. We are human, we makes mistakes, i don’t see its wrong when your spouse or kids come to you asking for forgiveness and you help them through.
This six ethics of life is interesting to keep in mind.. and as reference to us, in our family. May God bless all family in the world.. guide us, protect us and gives us wisdom.