Looking back 16 years ago when i became a mom to a cute 3.15kg baby boy. I was still in the operation room half ceaser. Its was a scary moment when i heard doctors talking to each other “the baby not crying!” faster..do something”! I heard foot step running..and within 10 minute i can hear a baby crying. I was relieved, everyone was relieved. My baby boy is so chubby and i remember his smell the first time i hold him..smell so nice. My Sean Matthew is my first born…and thats is the start of my journey of being a mother.
Something is not right
First time having a baby of my own but not a first time taking care of baby. We are the generations who become nanny to our relatives, taking care of our younger cousins during school holiday.
There is something not right when a child became too active, too sensitive and doesnt want to play with other kids. As a mother this worries me.
I know I have to do something, even though I was being denial. Just imagine when you are in a party, he will just scream just because he dont get what he wants or scream and lie down on the floor in a restaurant because he thought the people in front was looking and talking about him. That is just a two examples of many situations we faced.
It was embarrasing, stressful and i might be into depression (didnt get myself check). As i know its not normal to have feeling to jump from my 2nd floor apartment, crying without reason and became worse after my second child was born. I was mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted.
The Blaming Game
The cozy home became war zone. Love became hate. There are nothing good to see anymore, everything focus on the bad and the wrong.
Then I wanted to do something different, i want to change!we want change!
To understand something you need to learn about it. Mr. Google has become my good buddy and references. Seeking informormation and knowledge from parenting, special needs and self development. How to control stress? understand emotions….and how to be a good mother?…”change anything you want to be with NLP”.
I packed my bag and took my NS-NLP Certification in KL for 7 days in 2010. Its a complicated things but i slowly understood the way it works once i applied it in my life..to myself and my family.
I didnt stop learning, attending seminar and courses related to special needs and children to be general. Outdoor Play and Certified Teacher Yoga for Kids.
After attended seminars, I then realized there are NLP technique being used in other therapy but the only different is the terms they used.
I did my own research and applied it my son, from how to control his tantrum/meltdown, how to relax, how to get ready for big event and so on.
There are so many Certified NLP Trainers in Malaysia and even Master NLP Trainer in Sabah. I am not sure how many can use their NLP knkwledge to help you as what i did is all through my own experience.
Do check out this Tips to get Autism ready for social gathering.
Should you need my assistant, please do not be hesitate to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Life is full of ups and down, its full of surprises. You want your life the way you plan it to be but as much as you want things to be, sometimes it will not go as plan. Even your relationship with someone you love are beyond your control, as much as you want your relationship to last it might ended for certain reason. You don’t want that but if it happens life goes on.
If things dont go as planned, dont be disappointed, maybe God has different plan for you.
You feel its hard to move on because you have not forgive what had happend in your past. You need to make peace with yourself, don’t blame yourself or other people for what happened.
To be at peace with yourself is to be better equipped to face the world. To be at peace is to be more contented with your lot in life.
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Mahatma Gandhi
According to The National, holding a grudge will make you sick. Constant bitterness can make a person ill – so says a research team from Canada’s Concordia University in Montreal, Quebec. “Persistent bitterness may result in global feelings of anger and hostility that could affect a person’s physical health,” reveals Carsten Wrosch, a professor in psychology, who has spent 15 years looking at the side-effects of negative emotions.
The ability to forgive is crucial for you to move on from the past, and find peace within yourself.
If you not willing to forgive and make peace with yourself, you will create a feeling of hate which will be a stone in your heart, hardening each day and giving you lot of pain. Sometimes we keep hating someone we forget what they did to us.
To forgive is and easy words but not an easy task. Not many people willing to forgive but if you willing to forgive and let go, you must be proud of yourself.
Forgiveness is easing the chokehold emotion has on you and it opens you up to healing, growth and possibility.
Before you forgive anyone in the world, forgive yourself first, make peace with your past. Be thankful for the experiences you were given.
Its the beginning of 2019, everyone starting with new resolutions but before anything else, starting a year with some reflections of what last year taught me is a good idea. Its another way for us to be grateful and thankful for what we have learnt throughout the years.
Time for reflection!
Before I started listing down what had happened within the 12 months last year, my mind pretty much on the negative sides of it. Some conflicts, my scholarship contract ended and the passing of my father in law in March last year. But as I recall and wrote everything down, it was actually a great year. There are so many things happened despite some challenges, I have achieved some of my goals, received great things, learnt new things and make new friends.
We learnt many things within a year, even if we encounter the similar situation but probably the way I perceived it these days were different from before. Its impossible not having sadness, struggle, bad news but these are experiences and lessons, learn and forget about it. Always FOCUS on what makes us happy and what taught us best. By writing and sharing what we learnt, may help us learn more about life, enjoy and looking forward for more interesting things life has to offer.
Everyone has unique personality
Everyone has unique personality, there will be time you meet up with someone who are impossible to get along with. You wish you can change them, try your best to understand and might even judge them, but the truth is, we cannot do anything about it. Don’t try to CHANGE or understand them. ACCEPT and RESPECT people for who they are and not who you want them to be. Let them be who they are, just learn to change your perception and be okay with them. Life are more fun with different type of people in your life. But if the energy is different its good to stay away from them.
Learning to say ‘NO’
If you find that you are spending your time helping doing something without your willingness or you don’t want to disappoint anyone who ask for help.
You want to please anyone and make them happy but sometimes you need to look at yourself, your ability, your strength and how worthy you are. It is important to be NICE to others but it is important to LOVE yourself.
Learn to say NO! They may feel disappointed but believe me they will understand. Being able to say NO to others means you are sincere and you are being true to yourself.
The Importance of failure
When we think about failure, we think of things that is painful and that it causes emotional turmoil and upset, and inflicts agonizing pangs of guilt, regret, and remorse.
But, for those that have known true failure, and have bounced back from it, understand that failure in life is necessary for success.
Even the most successful people in life have failed the most times. If you try to go through life without failing at anything, then you’re not really living a life at all. Taking risks and falling down flat on our faces is part of life; it makes us into who we are.
Society tends to celebrate the successes rather than highlighting the epic journeys towards success that are filled with trials, tribulations, upsets, setbacks, and failures. Failure is almost a forbidden words, we become afraid to fail because we were taught to succeed and to win every journey.
“When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.” – Ellen DeGeneres
In life, it’s necessary to fail. Failure is a steppingstone. In fact, there are 5 very powerful life lessons that failure helps to teach and instill in us. If you’ve recently failed at something in a major way, and you’re going through a difficult time right now, keep these important lessons in mind.
Failure can be a Most of us tend to avoid failure. We’d rather see ourselves victorious at the finish line then tending to a damaged ego and attempting to determine where things went wrong.
But the truth is, the most successful people in the world endured mountains of failure before reaching the peak of success; and it was those failures that actually prepared them for what came next. Could it be then that failure can help you succeed?
Don’t expect too much
Being human we expect all good things in life. As the saying goes ‘expect the unexpected’, it is important to note that anything can happen. Sometimes we plan something and expect things will go smoothly but it does not necessary goes with the plan. Its not your fault things don’t turn out to be as plan, it can be an opportunity for learning new things.
Having too many expectations can be harmful but not having enough can be just as harmful. Having expectations for yourself is important, it gives you purpose and an idea of where you want to go in life, what you want to do.
Always be Grateful
We should be grateful from the moment you open your eyes each day, for being alive. Thanking God for another brand new day to love, to forgive and to do whatever you have failed to accomplish the day before.
By being grateful, we will treasure the things around us. You will learn to appreciate life in a better way. Treat others better and find yourself in a better mood every day. When you are thankful and grateful for the things you have. The universe tends to give you more of it because you appreciate it.
Be thankful and grateful for the problems and difficulty you facing. It is a way of life to allow you to grow from. It is designed specifically for you so that you will be stronger and wiser for any problems coming your way.
Lesson and Experiences
There are so many lesson we learn in life. We learn our lesson through experiences in life. Bad or good experiences, there are all lesson in life. We have to go through hurts, pain, obstacles, how you react to these are your choice, it can break you or make you stronger.
What I just share are just a few from many more lessons life has taught me. Life is a beautiful journey! have fun and enjoy the ride.
Thank you for your time!