I can imagine how you react when you see the title post, ‘note from cm‘? how weird eh. Well it happened few months back, i was at home in the evening trying to ask them to settle, take shower, ready books for tomorrow, bla bla bla but still nothing happened. I tried again, this time i focus on ‘go take your shower’ no, no movement but i hear she says ‘abang dulu bah’ requested that his brother go first, and no, no action again.
I then asked them to switch off the tv, all i can hear is ‘wait..wait’ and at that time i really feel my heart is boiling. Calm and steady, i told myself but eventually the tv are more important to them at that time and at that same it i really feel like screaming but ‘calm and steady’ i remind myself but i feel like exploding any moment so i decided to hide away and lock myself in my room. “I will be in my room, do what been told and don’t disturb me” my last word before entering my room. “Mummy!! ok i will take my shower, don’t go in the room, come out.. please...”, i heard everything and just lying on the bed doing nothing just to calm myself. “Mummy, open the door!!” her voice so loud, as if she was locked in a room wanting to go out.. i cannot imagine what the neighbors would think, “stay out please” i told her while Whatsap my friend telling her what happened.. mother to mother.. well she ever did the same to her kids before.
She knock the door a few times, i just keep quite and looking through the my FB, i heard she sing “.. would you like to play the snowman…… ok bye..” i wanted to laugh because i know she imagine herself as Anna from the movie Frozen… and its cute though thinking of the scene. My daughter is just so drama queen yet so sweet.
I was enjoying my quite moment inside the room, FBing and Whatsapp while thinking what to do next. “Mummy, look down the door”..please, my daughter plea. I look down and i saw the ‘note from CM’..here what she wrote.
This note from cm, initial for Chrissa Marie asking me to open the door and telling me how sorry she was and when i opened the door they already done what being told and i felt much better. When i posted this in my FB, seems that many mothers did the same thing before and it work well.
To lock myself is not a good thing actually but it can be a good lesson for them. You can’t do this often as they will copy back but to try this technique once in awhile
My children stayed overnight with their grandparents in a big house, bigger than ours of course and more space to play. Since my parents are here, i thought its good to let them enjoy their holiday with their grandparents and forget about school, study, games, tv and just follow their grandparent’s adventure. After first or second night, i have been calling her but she seems so happy, learning new things, new recipe from my mum and my mum even let her wash the dishes. After third to fourth days, she have been calling me and the first time she speak on the phone with soft voice “mum, i misss you”, aaah i almost cry but i just said, only a few days more then she sound happy again. After the fifth day, “mum, i want to go home”, only a few days more i said.. “nooo!!! i want to home..please!!”. Okay, i said, its Saturday, i just finished my paper, you can asked your dad to pick you up after work. “yeaahhh!! ” sound excited and happy.
At home, while studying, i also eager to see her. ‘tuuut tuut’! familiar alarm car.. must be them i said to myself. I hide in one of the room when i heard footstep coming up, the sound of the key, sound of the door… then i heard my daughter “aaaah, home sweet home”! She then say hello to her toys, furniture.. “muuummy, where are you?”.. i can see her eyes shine when we look at each other.. “aaaah i love your smell”, i said. “Oh, this is shampoo, you like it?” the conversation continue, i can’t stop her from talking.. from how his brother don’t want to go home, what they do there and many many more. Ya and she even asked me “so how is your exam”?
We have so many things to talk about, sometimes i threat her like a young lady, so i decided to asked her one important yet silly question. It was the two of us and i asked her, “Chrissa, what if… (still thinking if its necessary to ask the question) and she look at me impatiently. I continue “Chrissa, what if…. i die?” we both look at each other with a long pause and sadness. I asked again “what if.. i die? would you be able to take care of your brother, i know you are his little sister but you the only one who understand him, if i die, would you teach or remind your dad about certain things?” I continue, “if i die, you both stay at mama and bapa (my parents) ok”.
No response from my 7 years old daughter, we just look at each other. I tried hard to control my teary eyes and so does she.. she replied “muuum, you cannot die now, you have to wait until you sick and old, mama will die first”. I explained to her that not everybody will die when they sick and old, sometimes young people also die, probably from sickness, accident or anything that cause heartbeat stop.
The room suddenly in silence.. “aaah! don’t think about it.. don’t talk about it again okay, lets share our dreams and happy story”… its hard to forget what i have asked her and how she react on my question though.
I don’t know but i think somehow it is necessary to ask because life is fragile and we don’t know what will happened. But whatever happened, i know she is a tough girl and my only concern is my son. Aaaah how can i be studid of asking and questioning God’s plan.
God plan for everything, only He knows when we die but i hope and pray my time will come after my children grow up and able to handle their own life… that is my prayer.
God bless all! 🙂
Being a mother never being easy but i enjoy every moment of it. There were times i feel lost and depress when things don’t seems to be right. But after trial and error, i managed to understand how its done. I managed to play my responsibility as a strict (okay no too strict), smart (with kids these days), understanding and full of sense humor (you don’t want to be crazy, you need lots of laughter).
My son was so hyperactive, but as he grow, he progress better each day, more calm and easier to manage. I can’t imagine how i go through with his action, that could be a reason for i being slim always. Wonderful to hear his progress in his piano lesson and need to learn more instrument musicians friend.
My daughter at the other hand are so talkative, she can talk like forever..nonstop. She can win Guiness Award for nonstop talking… i bet..hahaha. She reminds me of myself when i was young, i can’t imagine how my parents handle me. She is so drama queen, lucky that i am more drama queen than her, but this smart girl can read me, my emotions and when i lie to her.
I am not great mother, far to be perfect. My daughter said to me “you are the best mother” well that phrase when i did something good i think.. she even call me ‘silly mum’, i think that is a compliment and i also get ‘you are so mean’. Well, i don’t blame her, i don’t blame my son, sometimes i look at them as our reflection.
If i could i will teach my children everything about life before they even reach that path but at times, my children already taught me few lesson. I remember a day when me and my husband raise voice at each other, my daughter stood up and said “can you both stop it, don’t try to win.. i wish my hyppo (her soft doll pet) alive so hyppo will understand what i am saying”… i learn my lesson well that day.
Their behaviors the negative and positive sometimes looks like what me and my husband did. We are indeed their mirror, that is hard, its hard to be kind sometimes, isn’t it? Relatives and friends’ comments and advice can be helpful but sometimes the only person know about your children is only you. The only person who understand your children is only you and the only person who wants you, are your children.
Be a good mirror and they will be a good reflection. Good bless!