Don’t we all wanting to find more things in life? if i take out the words ‘money’, what is that we are searching for? as we achieved certain goals in our life, we want more and we seems never satisfied with anything. I for instance, still wondering what i want. There is few pieces missing in my life and it is not completed yet. It might something simple but i will search for it.
I have past my childhood dream but now looking at my daughter, she reminds me of what i really want. Looking at her is like looking at myself, the different is she is a brave young girl and i am not. We both loves arts but i believe she is more creative than me but i never told her that because nobody is perfect. There were times i said to her “you can do better than others in your class” she came back and said “mummy, you said i can do better, i don’t like this boy, he do better than me”, from that moment i learn my mistake to never tell your child he or she is better, they will afraid to fail because they thought the best will never fail.
She is always a reflection to me, i told her that dreams will come true if you believe in it. Imagine what she want to be when she grow up? she said she will have so many jobs,
monday, she said she is a pilot,
tuesday she will be a fashion designer,
wednesday she will be selling earrings and bracelets,
thursday she said she will be a yoga teacher and
friday she will act and dance.
Well i think it sound silly but its a good idea. I told her its a good idea and i wish i could do like that. She answer me with a simple smile “your dreams will come true if you believe in it, you can be anything you want, work half day and half day you can take care of us”. Sometimes i feel like i am talking to my own reflection.
Please don’t be surprised if i post something funny and silly in the future, that will be an effect of this whole scenario of self reflection. I probably pursue something that i really want while i was a young girl, we only live once and its like putting the puzzle together to make myself satisfied.
Tum! tum!.. trumm!.. aah my heart beating fast.. sound like drum beating. I have forgotten how it feels, its been ages i never had this stress as a student. Assignments, i was just looking and reading at the questions and never done anything. I try to focus, relax and looking at the questions, it seems like the paper looking back at me wandering ‘what the heck are you waiting for‘. I have the time to do so, dateline is near and there i was looking at the questions.
While i was squeezing my mind for ideas to start, my mind wandering of other things, workload in the office, where to bring my kids for holiday and where do i study? at the same time, i feel like knocking my head for making myself into trouble. At that time, i can either sleep, watch TV, make earrings, blog for money and many other stuff that are more relaxing. Now, i have to juggle my time, push myself to learn and oh man! there is a lots of sacrifices.
Then i start realizing what i share with some students about stress management, time management, goal setting and motivations. Okay i make it sounds so easy and they are motivated, now its my time to practice what i preach and applied it on myself because i really need it. I keep on reminding myself this is what i want! this is what i want! i am going to deal with this, even how hard it will be i know life is still beautiful if you sees it like that.
This is how the universe works, you give, you get back, you keep on learning things because the world is round and life is a journey of learning. I got it now, how can i become slow at things like this. I always say ‘life is wonderful, keep on learning and never say you are too old for anything’, yup, that’s from me to others and now from me to myself.
If you give poison to others, you might get one but sweet things, words of ponder and wonderful sharing, if it come back to you, it taste even sweeter. Now, if you feel like sharing something to others, share a dream and wishing you have a taste of a wonderful experience in return.
Yours truly, beautiza
Being a mother never being easy but i enjoy every moment of it. There were times i feel lost and depress when things don’t seems to be right. But after trial and error, i managed to understand how its done. I managed to play my responsibility as a strict (okay no too strict), smart (with kids these days), understanding and full of sense humor (you don’t want to be crazy, you need lots of laughter).
My son was so hyperactive, but as he grow, he progress better each day, more calm and easier to manage. I can’t imagine how i go through with his action, that could be a reason for i being slim always. Wonderful to hear his progress in his piano lesson and need to learn more instrument musicians friend.
My daughter at the other hand are so talkative, she can talk like forever..nonstop. She can win Guiness Award for nonstop talking… i bet..hahaha. She reminds me of myself when i was young, i can’t imagine how my parents handle me. She is so drama queen, lucky that i am more drama queen than her, but this smart girl can read me, my emotions and when i lie to her.
I am not great mother, far to be perfect. My daughter said to me “you are the best mother” well that phrase when i did something good i think.. she even call me ‘silly mum’, i think that is a compliment and i also get ‘you are so mean’. Well, i don’t blame her, i don’t blame my son, sometimes i look at them as our reflection.
If i could i will teach my children everything about life before they even reach that path but at times, my children already taught me few lesson. I remember a day when me and my husband raise voice at each other, my daughter stood up and said “can you both stop it, don’t try to win.. i wish my hyppo (her soft doll pet) alive so hyppo will understand what i am saying”… i learn my lesson well that day.
Their behaviors the negative and positive sometimes looks like what me and my husband did. We are indeed their mirror, that is hard, its hard to be kind sometimes, isn’t it? Relatives and friends’ comments and advice can be helpful but sometimes the only person know about your children is only you. The only person who understand your children is only you and the only person who wants you, are your children.
Be a good mirror and they will be a good reflection. Good bless!