Mental Torture Drives Many Women To Divorce

    I read in a report in  Berita Harian and an article written in Star in October.  It reported that… Mental and psychological torture by their husbands have driven many women to seek divorce.

    …” Reasons given to dissolve their marriages include the failure of husbands to fulfill their marital obligations, and using words and actions that were degrading and insulting to the wives and their family.   Even the word like “Whore” can inflict mental anguish on wives, leadint to the end of a blissful relationship.  Under Islamic laws, the women can seek fasakh – which is the dissolution of marriage to any valid reason.  From 2008 to last year, the number of women seeking fasakh had exceeded 14,400 ….”.

    In Catholic’s view

    “……Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other until death.  Sacramental marriage is the sign of the covenant of salvation, to which divorce does incredible injury.. ……..”

    “…..The Church responds by saying: “The Lord Jesus insisted on the original intention of the Creator who willed that marriage be indissoluble.  He abrogates the accommodations that had slipped into the old Law.  Between the baptized, ‘a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death.’”….

    quoted from  http://www.archden.org

    Doesn’t have to end like this

    The word ”divorce’ is taboo in our communities… and for Catholics..the statement above mentioned about it.  I am not trying to discuss about religion or belief, and not trying to offend anybody or judge anyone on this matter.

    Why do write about this ‘taboo’ or ‘sensitive issues’? It is easy for others to judge those who have been through this..and it is always the negative side they see and talk about.

    More and more organizations are trying to help in solving ‘divorce’ issues, through family talks etc.  It won’t happened unless both parties (husband and wife) understand their meanings and needs.  One unpopular organization trying to tackle ‘Sex issues’ on this matters.  I believe sex is important but don’t they realize about ‘the emptiness’ .. not money, not sex, material.. but that simple appreciation.. don’t we all need that?

    Calling your wife ‘whore’ ‘bitch’ ‘sundal’ ‘sial’…. are just as terrible as hitting them.. If you hit them hard and they get bruises all over.. physical abuse ya.. it is.. sooner or later the mark will disappear and people can help these wives..who have been physically abuse.  What about those who have mentally abused? nobody knows.. unless she talk about it… and this is what i am trying to say.. somehow.. she might give in or GIVE UP!

    Think of the beautiful moment

    For those who say the word as ‘no meaning’… please wake up!.. you don’t have to attend any marriage courses or whatsoever.. just read..and learn what to do and how to protect your marriage.  Probably from now on start thinking of gift ideas for their special day … your wedding anniversary, birthday or anything..surprise her.

     

    Waiting For The Perfect Partner?

    I was listening to LiteFM last Friday,  they were asking question “Is it worth waiting for the perfect partner?  Listeners commented on the LiteFM’s FB Page voicing their opinion on the interesting subject.  I found it very interesting myself..  to me i guess it is worth waiting.. but my questions is.. how do we know when we found the ‘perfect partner’?

    Actually i had that same thought too when i was single.. i was searching for the ‘perfect partner’.. the ‘Mr. Right’.. but i couldn’t find one with the criteria i have been looking for… but i made a promise to myself that i will get married before the age of 30.. so i did.

    If you asked me if i married ‘Mr. Right’? looking with my life now.. my husband helps me with the children, the house chores and he is a better ‘chef’ than me.. i said Yes i did.  But there were times.. when we fight about certain issues, to be honest, sometimes i asked myself.. ‘is he actually Mr.Right’.. hahaha.  That silly questions pop up usually when we disagree on something.


    We are the opposites, i am very talkative.. if i start talking..its like the machine gun.. non stop.. and i am full of sense of humor.. love to laugh.. while he on the other hand.. is the relax and steady kind of guy.  I believe God make the two of us become one because of these differences.  I just have to accept the differences and i am unable to change him, as he can’t change the way i am.  Accepting differences is one of it but good communication is important.  How does your partner know how you feeling if you don’t express it?  and if you express it in the angry tone.. sure you will get a high pitch tone too.

     

    We are not the perfect couple.. marriage is a journey.. in this journey, we get to know each other more, we get to know our partner’s weaknesses and strength.  I realize that when i’m feeling down after a fight.. i will look at his weaknesses.. i try to search for more bad things he have done to me.. and i feel more depress.. and it is stupid.  Now whenever i am angry, i take a moment to look at his best side.. what good things he have done to me.. and how wonderful he is.. even the smallest thing.. i feel better.  Nobody is perfect.. and we are not perfect ourselves.

    If you ready for a proposal, go buy the stainless steel partner rings.  But whatever type of ring or how expensive the ring is, its not worth of the value of your relationship.  Why couple get married? is it because they find ‘the perfect partner or the One’.. but why they get divorce? do they realized the person their married..was not ‘the one’?

    A wedding is just for a day.. but the marriage is a journey.. A journey that need Respect and Love from each other.. and my marriage have a far distance to go… and still learning.  May you find ‘the One’ for you.. but don’t be surprise that sometimes ‘the one’ for you is actually someone you already know for years.

    Crossroad

    When we reach at the Crossroad..  we get confused on which path to go.  Are we choosing the right career? is this what we want in life?  We have so many questions.. but the only person who can give you the answer..is you..yourself my friend.  :)

    I was asked by Youth Prep Center to be part of their Crossroad program in Pukak, Kiulu 21-23 October 2011.  My honor to be part of youths and in helping them finding their path in career.

    Sharing my knowledge to youths is part of my goal, besides helping them i also get the chance to have my ‘me’ time.  I had time to be away from my work for awhile.. and the stress at home..haha.. even for a day.. everybody deserves that ‘time out’.

    It will not complete without asking them to ‘move’.. to the music.. well the floor are as alloc original, no problem to be the dance floor.

    Activity

    Team building activity done by members of the YPC

    Happy, excited, tired faces after the ‘team building’

    Day 2

     

    I was talking in about Stress, Communication and Being Positive!  and also the important of showing Respect and sharing Love.

    Yup.. that’s me :)


    Casual Group photo at the end of program

    Oh ya..  we use the word ‘WHATEVER’  a lot.. for certain interesting reasons… To me after saying ‘WhatEver’..as a phrase with them.. is not only a words..but become a sweet memory..whenever i heard or i say ‘Whatever’.. it reminds me of that great days with them.

    Students Retreat in Kiulu

    Early October i was asked again to share my knowledge and give motivation for students preparing for their exam.  This time i am heading to Kiulu… another new place for me to visit.

    To my surprise..i was asked to talk in front of 134 active teenagers.. wah!

    I would not let them watch while i present.. they will have to ‘dance’… well that is how i recharge my battery.. once i dance i can present better.. wink ;)

     

     

    Picture time.. all the best to all!

    I Want a Home Theatre

    I am dreaming of a bluray home theatre system..with big screen tv  aaah! sigh.. how i wish i could have it.  Imagining my family and me watching movie.. wow!

    It would be fun with loud speakers.. “hear ye! hear ye! neighbors..sharing with you all what we are watching!.. its Transformer”!  that would be fun.. cruel though.

    Love to be watching with my  family.. cry together..laugh together… of course there were times we don’t agree on what we want to watch.. there will be someone wants to watch something else.

    This i want to see…. son and daddy play games…

    Till the money rolling.. till the time come.. i will sure get one of this.. soon!

     

    Soon it will be Christmas Day!

    Wow! how time flies… I don’t want to count November .. i know its near ..before i start counting November, I better start thinking about December.

    I love December!.. month of holidays, month of forgiving in welcoming  Christmas! a day of  forgiving.. Christmas a day of giving and receiving… need to start my ‘gift list’ as a preparation before buying Christmas gifts to family members and close friends.

    Preparing list is difficult.. what to buy for each person i find difficult.. i don’t want to give something they don’t like..phew… how does Santa Clause did it?

    Oh well.. i might need some help from my girl.. she will come out with interesting ideas for gifts.

    Water oh Water!

    What a week!.. i am beginning to familiarized the ‘red notes’ at the information notice at our apartment..  ‘….. there will be no water on…. at… ‘  Oh no! not again.  If this continues, we might need to buy a steel drums in order to saved more water.. probably for a week.

    When we don’t have a water supply, we realized we treasure even a drop of water, same goes if we don’t have electricity.. as much as we love the coolness of the aircond.. any fan will be good to cool down the heat.

    I hope water will always enough for everyone but at the same time learning not to waste it is important as well.

    Water.. and electricity are part of our daily needs.. but if you have to choose between these two..what would you choose?

    I wish i don’t have to choose either.. i need both :)

     

    Beautiful October for Beautiful Mum..

     

      Its October!.. i remember there is something special about this month.. ‘what was it?’.. Oh!.. my mummy’s birthday on the 3rd October.. she is 60? unbelievable..she still look the same to me.. my beautiful mother.. with forgiving heart and humble down to earth.  Rose.. as beautiful as the flower..strength from deep within your heart.

       

      How can i be like her.. i can’t be like her.. i guess the best is just be myself and taking her best part in me.  What best gift can i give her? diamond necklace is not her choice either she feel wearing jewel are just to much.. even precious pearl is another highlight for her.. :)

      Oh… dear mummy, i can’t give you much.. not much materials i can offer you.. but my LOVE for you.. and how thankful i am to have such beautiful and wonderful mother.

      May God always give you good health and great happiness!

      your daughter,

      Shirley

      Will I or Will I Not

      As i was walking with my auntie last Saturday.. i few beautiful long maternity dresses on sale.  Imagining myself pregnant again.. how wonderful yet stressful at the same time.

      Listening to my neighbor’s babies crying, buying baby gifts for relatives and friends .. listening to my girl request.. “Mummy, i want baby sister”.   I say to myself..why not? another child.. that will be great..more kiosk! more love!.

      Will i or will i not have babies again.. will get pregnant again?  Some says two are enough but nobody can say how many is enough.. as long as i’m ready ..mentally, physically and financially.. and if God say i am able to conceive again.. there will be additional family members.

      If ever i get pregnant again..this time i will blog about my pregnancy from early stages until i delivered.

      The Students Retreat in Kokol

      Continuation of Beautiful Kokol on my earlier post…..

      After i received my NS-NLP Certification and being a NS-NLP Practitioner, i wonder what am i going to do with that certificate what i aimed for and beginning to think of my marketing strategy and the cost that i will charge.

      I started giving motivation talks to teenagers at my cousin’s learning center and doing my own personal coaching/study skills at home for 1-4 person at a time only and with minimal charges.  I do that to gain experience and sharing my knowledge.   Since i am giving motivation also, my husband are kind enough to check prices for vga to hdmi cables to make easier for me to do slide presentation and video to be connected to TV which have bigger screen.

      I ever visualized myself talking in front of a large crowd.. and well.. it does come true.  I asked God to help me spread good news my way with HIS guidance.. and i did..

      At the House of God…

      The biggest Cross i have ever seen.. you can see this from far… you can never missed this Church.

      The first session we did it at the back of the Church.. as you can see.. it is all covered by zinc from roof to the wall..but most of it is open area.  Of all the thing i asked for is … fan.  I was stressed because it was hot, started to get headache..because of the heat..i forgotten that i will be talking to 80 students.

      I was standing in front alone.. i can move..but imagine these participants…

      I managed to get them relax with the help of my stress reliever.. ‘MUSIC’.. yeah..mm got carried away a little while..blame it to the music :)

      Lunch..of course provided… Evelyn and Daniel from Youth Prep Center (YPC) as part of the organizer for the retreat.

      The second session was held in the Church itself…

      Yup.. that’s me.. Beautiza sharing thoughts by writing in the blog.. Shirley sharing it by words..

      Mmmm … let me see if anyone fall asleep?

      Unable to play ‘music’ in the house of GOD.. only inspiration video and soft music.. others look so tired and sleepy..

       

      Aha! i saw one.. :)

      I don’t know how was i able to present in front of 80 students.. active participants.. i was nervous at first.. but God answered my prayer..before i did my presentation.. i asked God to let HIM used me entirely to be HIS Channel of love.. to share to them my experience even some were my secret that not to be told.. but i allowed GOD to be the center of my mind, body and spirit.

      I just hope they gain something and may God bless these wonderful active teenagers.

      Love you guys.. :)

      Beautiza.. aka aunty shirley

      Lilypie Kids birthday Ticker Lilypie 3rd Birthday Ticker Daisypath Next Aniversary Ticker
      Powered by WordPress | Shop Free Phones at Bestincellphones.com. | Find the best CD Rates, Checking and Fat Burning Furnace Review