My parents just celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary last Saturday, 29 July 2017. While we, the family members preparing for the event, i myself busy preparing my mild autism asperger teen, in making sure he know what is going on and how to react on every situation.
After the celebration last Saturday, i should say its a success. I am happy the celebration has over but i am celebrating the achievement made by my son.
It bugs me when people tell me ‘biar saja‘ or ‘its okay, just let him be’. Maybe for work for other parents but not me, I don’t want my son to get too excited or too nervous which will lead to meltdown which will later regret and embarrassed him.
Autism especially asperger are no different from other typical kids, they too have feelings and dignity. They only need assistance and guidance in whatever they do.
Let me share what we did before the event last Saturday, probably this will help especially those with special needs child.
You will need at least 1 or two weeks to prepare especially if it’s a big event. Let him know what is the occasion about. When is it going to be held, how long and who are going to be there. Be specific and details as you can.
Most special needs has sensory problems so its good to prepare them using VAK (Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic) technique to get them fully understand.
Make it visual, as for my son i just tell him when and he will marked it on the calendar. I informed my son that there will be music and it might be loud sometimes. I also informed him that he can join any dance if he feels comfortable with, also reminded him that its okay if people look at him or laugh as it does not mean it meant for him.
You can show your child a picture of their cousins or a wedding picture with crowds just to give them ideas.
Look into their eyes when you speak in making sure your child know your child know you talking to her/him and it is important to listen. Your tone of voice and facial expression are important in sending them the message. You may need to be strict yet gentle at the same time.
Each day i reminded him about the event and keep on saying ‘I know you can do it’ and ‘remember to relax‘.
I let him know all his cousins and other people will be there and possibility of weather, noise etc. I told my son ..‘the venue might be long, weather might be warm, there will be music and it might be loud…but whatever it is you must relax’.
This is the fun part. We had a role-play of whats going to happened, for example how to interact with people. We did a role-play on how to react when someone come to him and how to introduce himself to others.
WHAT CAN AND CANNOT DO
I keep a reminder on what he can and cannot do. Some simple rules such as..if he is tired..uncomfortable he need to inform me or other family members..this to prevent meltdown. Shouting.. or any unnecessary action are prohibited in public..he may need to relax.
Remember they learn by rules and they will understand more if we keep on reminding..and it may become good habit.
ON THE BIG DAY
What happened on the big day was a success. My son introduced himself and was not ashamed. The moment there were music..he was dancing and when he hears his cousin sang he actually told me he wanted to sing..probably next time as he don’t really know what song to sing either. But he dance to every music beats..I was with him only at the first songs to make sure he feels comfortable..the rest is history.
I have been using essential oil for a year now and for those having sensory problems..such scents does helps but this does not heal autism. I believe certain essential oils such as vertiver and peace & calming does helps but make sure to apply at time there are ready and in a relax mood. Never apply essential oils when they are moody or having a meltdown.
THE GOOD AND BAD NEWS
Yes you just read our achievements ..isnt it good news? it takes 50% of all hardwork, commitment for the early preparations. 20% of the reminder, standby and commitment on that day, 10% of the essential oils scents that helps him keep calm and 20% of his own commitment, focus and self esteem. Bravo my son! We can do it..you can too.😊
Be remided that autism are just full of surprises..today i might succeed but tomorrow with many things that can triggers and things that of our control i might lose the battle.
Thats how it goes..just keep on sharing to others about autism and we will never feel alone and those with autism will feel accepted.
Always be ready with plans. If plan A does not work out..there will always other plans but never gives up.
Thanks for reading!
P/S – This is a sharing from my personal point of view as a mother and may not be right from the medical perspective. Every child with autism are different from each other..my tips may not work for others but there are no harm trying.
Are you content with your life? Or do you feel you never have enough and not good enough?
Many times I feel not having enough and wanting more. Also comparing myself to others and this makes me want to compete. My mind was rushing with too many ‘to do list’..but nothing unsettled and worries seems to be on the top list. This feelings makes me feel insecure…or in another words ‘sick’.
Looking back, i wasted my time and energy. Enough is enough! I had it..its time to take control of my life. I believe we can change whatever we want, however there are few things beyond our control that can’t be change.
Life is a beautiful journey! Embrace what comes in life, accept what ever challenges and appreciate even the little things. Having an attitude of gratitude makes life more meaningful.
As we welcome the New Year, Year of The Rooster, we have listed down our resolution for this year. What do you want to achieve within the 12 months?
Most of us tends to repeat the same resolution because we failed to achieve it before but still feels its important. Whatever it is, resolution is something we need as motivation and excitement in that particular year.
I have a long list but i will be focusing more on few things that are important to me.
LEARN AND SHARE MORE ON AUTISM
Most people still don’t understand what autism is. People tend to judge anyone with autism. Can’t really blame society because only in April will there be program regarding autism in media electronic and ‘run for autism’ host by few organizations.
As a mother to a mild autism son, its my responsibility to share my knowledge to others with hope that autism can be accepted in society without being judge but loved.
SAVE OUR MOTHER EARTH
There are simple ways we can do to help our environment. I do keep boxes, recycle papers and give it to our cleaner, as we know they will sell it to recycle shop. Same goes with plastic bottle and can drinks. But somehow one used can drink can go into a dustbin and that makes me feel bad.
I also love using shopping bag whenever i go for shopping but maybe its not a habit yet.. as sometimes i forgot to bring shopping bag and ended up bringing plastic home.
I really want to make sure if i go shopping, i will be ready with my shopping bag and make it as a habit. Not only it helps mother nature but hey.. carrying shopping bag looks cool than carrying plastic bag.
Last year, my daughter and i had experience learning ukulele and we had fun. My husband even bought ukulele at a guitar center near me shop after we took the lesson. It was fun, we practice using the notes given and also some YouTube video on how to play ukulele.
READ AND WRITE MORE
My goal is to read 2 books in a month and to write at least 1 blog a week. Reading feeds the mind and helps generate more ideas.
Writing is therapeutic, helps uplift the spirit. Sharing heals us, as long as we write topics that not related to hate or anger.. good energy will flow back to us.
This is also one of the important resolution for this year. Not that i want to be slim, yes i do but main reason is to stay healthy.
Early year, I already started jogging after work and early Saturday morning. Feeling awesome when we sweat. I did some yoga pose at home but i prefer doing yoga in a studio. I am already thinking of going to a gym or do some different sport in the future.
I hope i can achieve this by end of the year and if i make it as a habit it will be great so i can focus on different resolution next year.