Imagine 6 out of 10 from your close friends told you that you are ‘out of style’ or you need to ‘upgrade’ yourself… What would you do? Leave it as it is.. or do something about it? Sometimes we don’t see what others see, start analyzing their words.. look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself.. “am i really out of style and do i need to upgrade myself?”

Take their words and start with little steps at a time.. don’t do drastic changes. If you have great attitude you would enjoy changes.. ask their opinion on what should you change, probably only your hair style or your fashion need to tune a little bit.

Do some research, starting from what you’ve been wearing.. is it the color, the pattern or style. Go to a Image consultant if you must, invest a little for a long term. Image is part of branding.. if your Image consultant suggest you to get western belts to go along with long skirt and blouse, try it. If she said you look good with blue navy and pencil skirt suits you, go along with it. Wear what suggested by your Image Consultant and asked those who gave comments to you.

Remember, if somebody give comments, don’t judge them as giving critics.. take it as feedback. Your choice to change and understand what need to change is important. Don’t change because you need to please others but change to make you a better person instead.

But what about to motivate somebody who feels down or stress? what can you really do? the best is to listen..without any solution first..let them do the talking..you just listen.  People who are having problem loves to share and sometimes they don’t want you to answer..they just want you to lend them your ears.. that is why God gives us two ears and one mouth.. to listen more and talk less.

Let me share one motivational book by best selling author  Mr. Anthony DeStefano.   As always i am so honored and proud to received this book from the author himself.

I Just Can’t Take It Anymore! a simple yet wonderful motivational book… printed with beautiful pictures of children and big printed letters.  Not only it is great for a gift for adults and can be a wonderful gift for children.. to understand life can be difficult sometimes but if we appreciate and understand why it happens .. you can enjoy life more.

Few sample pictures that are wonderful.. and it is really great.  I recommend you to buy few copies of this books, you can give it as a gift but you have to keep a copy for yourself too.

All the best and God Bless!

Before every end of a year..we think of a new resolution for the coming new year…. quit smoking, do more marketing.. to get more money, new job, want to buy a car, we want to safe the environment.. we want to get one of the Gas Scooters in the market , we want to buy property.. whatever we have in mind.. we plan, we focus on it.. with determination..  we achieve it in a year but with certain reasons we failed..and we needed more time.

A brand new year is like a new chapter in our life, what written in the previous chapter.. does it have a happy ending?  We have in mind what we want to write in the next chapter.. we are the writer of our own book but sometimes we write not according to what we plan .. we have God doing the editing.. out of our control.

If you think a new year is like another chapter of your story books.. look back.. check the previous chapters..which chapter is the best and why.. and which chapter hurts most..and why.. it make us understand our own life…and never regret on what happened… take it as a life experience…if its a painful experience.. accept it as it is..it is valuable to others if you share it as knowledge.

Some of us might not have a good story in the beginning of the chapters but you choose how the story goes and how you want the story to end… nobody else can.. but God will be there editing.

God Bless …and May your dream come true.. Happy New Year!

Beautiza

I am happy to have invested in learning NLP but applying and experiencing to myself makes me more happy.. let me show you the formula.  Okay, you have seen the formula of getting stress.. let me put you in my shoe for awhile, just to get you in the picture.

Okay.. i have seen the differences.. and only little things in common.. I can’t change him..neither he change me.. but i talk to him in a pleasant way just to let him know how i feel.. it takes 100 times..and more.. and you won’t be successful overtime.. try and try again.  Okay now i look at the little things we have in common.. example..we both like cooking.. he cook better than me.. i appreciate when he cook.. i appreciate it everyday..and i start to count my blessings.  How about the differences? well nobody perfect.. keep the differences aside, somehow you will need it.. example.. he loves watching tv.. i don’t..so i asked him about the movie without watching it.. save my time..isn’t it?  If you feel empty inside, look at your children..let them fill you with love..as how you shower your love to  them everyday.

To accept your partner’s differences.. you have to start little by little.. one at a time.. you might fail at first but at the end you will succeed.  Why not make this as one of your goals for 2012.

All the best!..Beautiza

Have you ever experience dissatisfaction in your career?  When you sleep you still thinking about your job and you have problems waking up in the morning?  and you hate your job even though you have been trying hard to love it.. and you feel you want to ‘resign’ but you need the money.   Well..we all been through that phase and we manage to go through that..but for some.. it seems no ending.  Sorry to you but i say the only solution is to ‘search’ what you love doing.

Some people look at age as barrier to change career.. me as well..but if you can’t deal with what you doing.. why stay?  I love what i am doing now..but i have another different career which i do as my part time.. not only i have something to look forward but also it keeps me moving.

I had read few stories about people who changed their career, and they are not in their 20s.. some are in their 30s and even 50s.. its their life.. they control their own life..not anyone else.  There are people change career from Engineer to photographer, Accountant to Chef, Hotel Manager to Florist.. and the list go on.  Reading this inspiring stories makes me wonder.. if i can change my career.. i would actually love to be in the Lodging Jobs . it is adventurous and exciting.  Who knows..maybe if i am ready.. why not.

We live only once, those who never try are failure.. those who failed, learn to never give up.

Going out just the three of us.. just hanging out with them.. more spending.. eat! eat! and eat!.. at home the same thing we do.. eat! eat! eat!.. and at the same time.. my mind scanning the whole house.. what should i change, what i need to get rid.. and what i need to buy..  i shouldn’t think about this.. my mind should be resting.. my money should be resting.. huhu.    I had something in my mind that i wanted.. i was looking at my  door and i thought why not get door kick plate.  It made of a strong metal or base like metal and can actually be used for what its name describes. You can kick it with your shoes to get any grass,  dirt, etc off of your shoes before coming into your home. This helps prevent you from tracking dirt and other unwanted particles into your home and leaves them outside for Mother Nature to handle.

Door kick plates provide a great decorative feature to your door. You can find colors and materials that match your door or other accents in your home, and it will actually make it stand out quite a bit.  It can also act as a reflective measure for you to see where you are going at night… tempted to buy door kick plate? well.. i know i do.

I better stop thinking about what to buy for the house and start thinking where to go with my children.   I can always find money to buy what i want.. anytime..but i can’t always have time to be with my children.. love is more expensive..and i got to spend it wisely.

I read in a report in  Berita Harian and an article written in Star in October.  It reported that… Mental and psychological torture by their husbands have driven many women to seek divorce.

…” Reasons given to dissolve their marriages include the failure of husbands to fulfill their marital obligations, and using words and actions that were degrading and insulting to the wives and their family.   Even the word like “Whore” can inflict mental anguish on wives, leadint to the end of a blissful relationship.  Under Islamic laws, the women can seek fasakh – which is the dissolution of marriage to any valid reason.  From 2008 to last year, the number of women seeking fasakh had exceeded 14,400 ….”.

In Catholic’s view

“……Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other until death.  Sacramental marriage is the sign of the covenant of salvation, to which divorce does incredible injury.. ……..”

“…..The Church responds by saying: “The Lord Jesus insisted on the original intention of the Creator who willed that marriage be indissoluble.  He abrogates the accommodations that had slipped into the old Law.  Between the baptized, ‘a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death.’”….

quoted from  http://www.archden.org

Doesn’t have to end like this

The word ”divorce’ is taboo in our communities… and for Catholics..the statement above mentioned about it.  I am not trying to discuss about religion or belief, and not trying to offend anybody or judge anyone on this matter.

Why do write about this ‘taboo’ or ‘sensitive issues’? It is easy for others to judge those who have been through this..and it is always the negative side they see and talk about.

More and more organizations are trying to help in solving ‘divorce’ issues, through family talks etc.  It won’t happened unless both parties (husband and wife) understand their meanings and needs.  One unpopular organization trying to tackle ‘Sex issues’ on this matters.  I believe sex is important but don’t they realize about ‘the emptiness’ .. not money, not sex, material.. but that simple appreciation.. don’t we all need that?

Calling your wife ‘whore’ ‘bitch’ ‘sundal’ ‘sial’…. are just as terrible as hitting them.. If you hit them hard and they get bruises all over.. physical abuse ya.. it is.. sooner or later the mark will disappear and people can help these wives..who have been physically abuse.  What about those who have mentally abused? nobody knows.. unless she talk about it… and this is what i am trying to say.. somehow.. she might give in or GIVE UP!

Think of the beautiful moment

For those who say the word as ‘no meaning’… please wake up!.. you don’t have to attend any marriage courses or whatsoever.. just read..and learn what to do and how to protect your marriage.  Probably from now on start thinking of gift ideas for their special day … your wedding anniversary, birthday or anything..surprise her.

Actually i had that same thought too when i was single.. i was searching for the ‘perfect partner’.. the ‘Mr. Right’.. but i couldn’t find one with the criteria i have been looking for… but i made a promise to myself that i will get married before the age of 30.. so i did.

If you asked me if i married ‘Mr. Right’? looking with my life now.. my husband helps me with the children, the house chores and he is a better ‘chef’ than me.. i said Yes i did.  But there were times.. when we fight about certain issues, to be honest, sometimes i asked myself.. ‘is he actually Mr.Right’.. hahaha.  That silly questions pop up usually when we disagree on something.

We are the opposites, i am very talkative.. if i start talking..its like the machine gun.. non stop.. and i am full of sense of humor.. love to laugh.. while he on the other hand.. is the relax and steady kind of guy.  I believe God make the two of us become one because of these differences.  I just have to accept the differences and i am unable to change him, as he can’t change the way i am.  Accepting differences is one of it but good communication is important.  How does your partner know how you feeling if you don’t express it?  and if you express it in the angry tone.. sure you will get a high pitch tone too.

We are not the perfect couple.. marriage is a journey.. in this journey, we get to know each other more, we get to know our partner’s weaknesses and strength.  I realize that when i’m feeling down after a fight.. i will look at his weaknesses.. i try to search for more bad things he have done to me.. and i feel more depress.. and it is stupid.  Now whenever i am angry, i take a moment to look at his best side.. what good things he have done to me.. and how wonderful he is.. even the smallest thing.. i feel better.  Nobody is perfect.. and we are not perfect ourselves.

If you ready for a proposal, go buy the stainless steel partner rings.  But whatever type of ring or how expensive the ring is, its not worth of the value of your relationship.  Why couple get married? is it because they find ‘the perfect partner or the One’.. but why they get divorce? do they realized the person their married..was not ‘the one’?

A wedding is just for a day.. but the marriage is a journey.. A journey that need Respect and Love from each other.. and my marriage have a far distance to go… and still learning.  May you find ‘the One’ for you.. but don’t be surprise that sometimes ‘the one’ for you is actually someone you already know for years.

To my surprise..i was asked to talk in front of 134 active teenagers.. wah!

I would not let them watch while i present.. they will have to ‘dance’… well that is how i recharge my battery.. once i dance i can present better.. wink

Picture time.. all the best to all!

After i received my NS-NLP Certification and being a NS-NLP Practitioner, i wonder what am i going to do with that certificate what i aimed for and beginning to think of my marketing strategy and the cost that i will charge.

I started giving motivation talks to teenagers at my cousin’s learning center and doing my own personal coaching/study skills at home for 1-4 person at a time only and with minimal charges.  I do that to gain experience and sharing my knowledge.   Since i am giving motivation also, my husband are kind enough to check prices for vga to hdmi cables to make easier for me to do slide presentation and video to be connected to TV which have bigger screen.

I ever visualized myself talking in front of a large crowd.. and well.. it does come true.  I asked God to help me spread good news my way with HIS guidance.. and i did..

At the House of God…

The biggest Cross i have ever seen.. you can see this from far… you can never missed this Church.

The first session we did it at the back of the Church.. as you can see.. it is all covered by zinc from roof to the wall..but most of it is open area.  Of all the thing i asked for is … fan.  I was stressed because it was hot, started to get headache..because of the heat..i forgotten that i will be talking to 80 students.

I was standing in front alone.. i can move..but imagine these participants…

I managed to get them relax with the help of my stress reliever.. ‘MUSIC’.. yeah..mm got carried away a little while..blame it to the music

Lunch..of course provided… Evelyn and Daniel from Youth Prep Center (YPC) as part of the organizer for the retreat.

The second session was held in the Church itself…

Yup.. that’s me.. Beautiza sharing thoughts by writing in the blog.. Shirley sharing it by words..

Mmmm … let me see if anyone fall asleep?

Unable to play ‘music’ in the house of GOD.. only inspiration video and soft music.. others look so tired and sleepy..

Aha! i saw one..

I don’t know how was i able to present in front of 80 students.. active participants.. i was nervous at first.. but God answered my prayer..before i did my presentation.. i asked God to let HIM used me entirely to be HIS Channel of love.. to share to them my experience even some were my secret that not to be told.. but i allowed GOD to be the center of my mind, body and spirit.

I just hope they gain something and may God bless these wonderful active teenagers.

Love you guys..

Beautiza.. aka aunty shirley