My Creativity Wants Out!!

10 years ago i was looking at my friend’s pay slip and i said “wow! i wish i can get that much money on my pay slip and i will be the happiest”, i told her.   “Oh you will get that that much in few years time”,  she replied.  It was difficult those years, paying car, house, nursery, i can afford to buy Numark NS6, because bills are too much and salary are too less.

Indeed 10 years after that, now i am receiving more than what she received and pretty sure she received more now as she is my senior.  But guess what, i am not happy.  I am happy with the money alright but  my job.

Why am i not happy, i have wonderful supportive boss, surrounded with great colleagues and oops a routine job.  Yup the routine job really killing me.  I already make my parents’ idea of their ‘successful’ daughter.  Their dreams come true.. i studied, land a job in government, have a family and own a house.  It was my dream too but well i feel like there is something missing.

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Whenever i do volunteering jobs it really gives me thrills but volunteering doesn’t pay much.   There is another ‘me’ inside wanting to go out.. i keep pushing myself in.. “No Not Now”!!  we are not ready yet.   I am not sure how long i survive this but if my creative side wants to go out i will get myself prepare.

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I am the person that will just start engine and go, forget about planning.. i will probably prepare to be surprised.  Life can be funny and weird, go with the flow and if fall, i make sure i fall because i tried.

If i let myself stay where i am and do the same think all over again and listen to people who condemn people without degree like me.. i will probably let me creativity die with me.  I want out!!

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