It’s April! wow! my daughter will be 7 years old. I can’t believe it, how time flies. She want to celebrate her birthday but not sure how, she listed down her friends to be invited on her birthday. Still thinking where and what theme for the special day. You know how a little girl would like to have her special day… friends, candies, cakes, theme, music and presents.
A month after that, another special person celebrating his birthday… yup.. their daddy! Always easier to for adults, just have a dinner or gifts, a tabac cologne is his favorite.
For those celebrating birthday soon, don’t worry about the additional candles on the cake, count the blessings instead. Don’t worry to much, just remember the obstacle you have been through and how lucky you are that you can still celebrate another birthday. May there be more birthday to celebrate!
Our mind has been programmed for perfection. Since childhood, our parents will push us to study hard to get a good grade, great job and good salary. A perfect life in on how everyone sees it, and from there we learn to make everything perfect. When we get a ‘B’, parents or teachers might say, “you can do better than that” instead of saying “you did well”. If you get a ‘C’ you are seen as a failure. The school even created a system where smart students will be in the best class, we teaching discrimination from early age and perfect students are those with ‘flying colors’. They, then tend to be scared to fail. They strive to be perfect in school.
As we grow older, we are influence by the fairy tales and wonderful romantic movie, of course the story always ends with ‘happily ever after’. We search high and low for rich, romantic, kind, loving spouse, another perfect expectation. Some would seek for a man who can sing, sing as he proposed, oh wow! that is indeed perfectly romantic.
For I am too, expect perfection in life but I realize when I am married, looking for perfection can only stress me. When I realize imperfection in my life, I keep asking questions on ‘why?’ I am becoming denial and unable to accept certain things.
I come to realize that, you don’t have to try hard to be perfect, just be content and happy. Be content, with such things you have NOW, not what you had the past or what you want, tomorrow. As much as we want bigger house, living in a small cozy apartment is wonderful, it is not a big house but it is still a ‘home’. Teach our children about having the attitude of gratitude and always remind each other that we should always count our blessings.
Be content, your spouse is not perfect in your eyes but ask yourself ‘am I perfect?’ your both imperfection are join together to create a perfect couple and a wonderful family. Then again you will see imperfection in your children, rejoice! God gave you children.
We learn to ask for “more” much sooner than they learn to be satisfied. They are far more ready to cry for what they want, than to say “thank you” when they have got it.
Seek it not in wealth, seek it not in pleasure, nor in friends, nor in learning. Seek it in having a will in perfect harmony with the will of God. The only perfection we need to improve is our relationship with God… though He will be the one we seek.
Embrace imperfection and learn to be content, you will find more peace and happiness in you and more love you could spread to others.
“It’s made me realize that imperfect is perfectly comfortable to me. Whether it’s a city or my apartment, I feel most at home when things are somewhat flawed.” ― Hoda Kotb, Hoda: How I Survived War Zones, Bad Hair, Cancer, and Kathie Lee
I have realized something different in my son behavior but the more I know about it the more I pretend. He is normal and smart, yes indeed he is but letting him struggle without an early intervention has makes me feel the quilt. Not that we did not do anything, it is just that not hard enough.
My son has been diagnosed by an Occupational Therapist for having Sensory Integration problems with mild autistic behavior. As much as I want to use mild, it is still autism. Wow, the word I am trying to ignore, what next, special needs, learning disability. Nope, I won’t use those in my son’s vocabulary because he can do so many things with less assistance. Having an autistic son is not perfect but I realize now how he makes me a wiser and stronger mother. Not only me, my husband is learning and my daughter is so matured in handling his situation.
I am inspired by other women with autistic child. One lady, a teacher, she has 8 children, one of her children is autistic yet the child now has grown up and is learning medical. Another wonderful lady with 5 children, her son is autistic and she still looking sexy, having an autistic child is not an excuse to not look good of feel good.
Why should I feel guilty, I gave birth, raise and shower him with unconditionally love no more no less with his sister. Those days, when people give us a stare whenever my son misbehaving, I would get stress and at some times I will look at them and say ‘hyper’ but not anymore.
No more labeling, hyper, sensitive or lazy or whatsoever, the only label I will give him is ‘handle with care’. He is my wonderful, handsome, smart, intelligent son and one day he will be someone everybody will be proud of, as he have make me proud and happy since the day he was born.
Picture of my son when he was a little baby
I am not worry, though i trust in God. In Him, i believe my son will have the wisdom, courage and strength in his life journey. We have faith in Him, he have guided and protected my son from so many unwanted incident and He will always hold him, touch his heart because we believe.
“PEOPLE WHO HAVE HUGE ABILITIES USUALLY HAVE A DISABILITY ”
By Edward Hallowell