• Article from newspapers,  Reflection of life,  Sharing Information,  usinku,  Woman's Mind

    Mental Torture Drives Many Women To Divorce

      I read in a report in  Berita Harian and an article written in Star in October.  It reported that… Mental and psychological torture by their husbands have driven many women to seek divorce.

      …” Reasons given to dissolve their marriages include the failure of husbands to fulfill their marital obligations, and using words and actions that were degrading and insulting to the wives and their family.   Even the word like “Whore” can inflict mental anguish on wives, leadint to the end of a blissful relationship.  Under Islamic laws, the women can seek fasakh – which is the dissolution of marriage to any valid reason.  From 2008 to last year, the number of women seeking fasakh had exceeded 14,400 ….”.

      In Catholic’s view

      “……Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other until death.  Sacramental marriage is the sign of the covenant of salvation, to which divorce does incredible injury.. ……..”

      “…..The Church responds by saying: “The Lord Jesus insisted on the original intention of the Creator who willed that marriage be indissoluble.  He abrogates the accommodations that had slipped into the old Law.  Between the baptized, ‘a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death.’”….

      quoted from  http://www.archden.org

      Doesn’t have to end like this

      The word ”divorce’ is taboo in our communities… and for Catholics..the statement above mentioned about it.  I am not trying to discuss about religion or belief, and not trying to offend anybody or judge anyone on this matter.

      Why do write about this ‘taboo’ or ‘sensitive issues’? It is easy for others to judge those who have been through this..and it is always the negative side they see and talk about.

      More and more organizations are trying to help in solving ‘divorce’ issues, through family talks etc.  It won’t happened unless both parties (husband and wife) understand their meanings and needs.  One unpopular organization trying to tackle ‘Sex issues’ on this matters.  I believe sex is important but don’t they realize about ‘the emptiness’ .. not money, not sex, material.. but that simple appreciation.. don’t we all need that?

      Calling your wife ‘whore’ ‘bitch’ ‘sundal’ ‘sial’…. are just as terrible as hitting them.. If you hit them hard and they get bruises all over.. physical abuse ya.. it is.. sooner or later the mark will disappear and people can help these wives..who have been physically abuse.  What about those who have mentally abused? nobody knows.. unless she talk about it… and this is what i am trying to say.. somehow.. she might give in or GIVE UP!

      Think of the beautiful moment

      For those who say the word as ‘no meaning’… please wake up!.. you don’t have to attend any marriage courses or whatsoever.. just read..and learn what to do and how to protect your marriage.  Probably from now on start thinking of gift ideas for their special day … your wedding anniversary, birthday or anything..surprise her.

       

    • Family,  Personal,  Reflection of life,  Relationship,  usinku

      Waiting For The Perfect Partner?

      I was listening to LiteFM last Friday,  they were asking question “Is it worth waiting for the perfect partner?  Listeners commented on the LiteFM’s FB Page voicing their opinion on the interesting subject.  I found it very interesting myself..  to me i guess it is worth waiting.. but my questions is.. how do we know when we found the ‘perfect partner’?

      Actually i had that same thought too when i was single.. i was searching for the ‘perfect partner’.. the ‘Mr. Right’.. but i couldn’t find one with the criteria i have been looking for… but i made a promise to myself that i will get married before the age of 30.. so i did.

      If you asked me if i married ‘Mr. Right’? looking with my life now.. my husband helps me with the children, the house chores and he is a better ‘chef’ than me.. i said Yes i did.  But there were times.. when we fight about certain issues, to be honest, sometimes i asked myself.. ‘is he actually Mr.Right’.. hahaha.  That silly questions pop up usually when we disagree on something.


      We are the opposites, i am very talkative.. if i start talking..its like the machine gun.. non stop.. and i am full of sense of humor.. love to laugh.. while he on the other hand.. is the relax and steady kind of guy.  I believe God make the two of us become one because of these differences.  I just have to accept the differences and i am unable to change him, as he can’t change the way i am.  Accepting differences is one of it but good communication is important.  How does your partner know how you feeling if you don’t express it?  and if you express it in the angry tone.. sure you will get a high pitch tone too.

       

      We are not the perfect couple.. marriage is a journey.. in this journey, we get to know each other more, we get to know our partner’s weaknesses and strength.  I realize that when i’m feeling down after a fight.. i will look at his weaknesses.. i try to search for more bad things he have done to me.. and i feel more depress.. and it is stupid.  Now whenever i am angry, i take a moment to look at his best side.. what good things he have done to me.. and how wonderful he is.. even the smallest thing.. i feel better.  Nobody is perfect.. and we are not perfect ourselves.

      If you ready for a proposal, go buy the stainless steel partner rings.  But whatever type of ring or how expensive the ring is, its not worth of the value of your relationship.  Why couple get married? is it because they find ‘the perfect partner or the One’.. but why they get divorce? do they realized the person their married..was not ‘the one’?

      A wedding is just for a day.. but the marriage is a journey.. A journey that need Respect and Love from each other.. and my marriage have a far distance to go… and still learning.  May you find ‘the One’ for you.. but don’t be surprise that sometimes ‘the one’ for you is actually someone you already know for years.

    • Business,  education,  motivation,  NLP,  usinku,  Weekend,  Youths

      Crossroad

      When we reach at the Crossroad..  we get confused on which path to go.  Are we choosing the right career? is this what we want in life?  We have so many questions.. but the only person who can give you the answer..is you..yourself my friend.  🙂

      I was asked by Youth Prep Center to be part of their Crossroad program in Pukak, Kiulu 21-23 October 2011.  My honor to be part of youths and in helping them finding their path in career.

      Sharing my knowledge to youths is part of my goal, besides helping them i also get the chance to have my ‘me’ time.  I had time to be away from my work for awhile.. and the stress at home..haha.. even for a day.. everybody deserves that ‘time out’.

      It will not complete without asking them to ‘move’.. to the music.. well the floor are as alloc original, no problem to be the dance floor.

      Activity

      Team building activity done by members of the YPC

      Happy, excited, tired faces after the ‘team building’

      Day 2

       

      I was talking in about Stress, Communication and Being Positive!  and also the important of showing Respect and sharing Love.

      Yup.. that’s me 🙂


      Casual Group photo at the end of program

      Oh ya..  we use the word ‘WHATEVER’  a lot.. for certain interesting reasons… To me after saying ‘WhatEver’..as a phrase with them.. is not only a words..but become a sweet memory..whenever i heard or i say ‘Whatever’.. it reminds me of that great days with them.