BEAUTIZA

On Wednesday (25/06/08) .. i fetch Sean from school, 15 minute reaching home, Sean told me he wants to go to the toilet… i said hold on we are reaching home. I just hate my husband’s working hours 9.00am-7.00pm, so ridiculous, i have problem fetching my children. Anyway, while driving, i asked Sean how is he feeling… he keep quite. I asked him, if its ok if we fetch Chrissa first, he said ok. When i reached my friend’s home, i saw Chrissa waiting to go home, good… no need for me to get her at the 1st floor.

Reaching the parking, Sean looked pale, ‘mummy! mummy! i want to go to the toilet now!’ Oh my God, how am going to do this… Sean can’t even moved his feet. I don’t want anything to happened while he walk to the stairs.. i have no choice.. i need to act fast. Without thinking further, i carried both of them to my 2nd floor apartment, with a few bags left and right my shoulder. A few steps before reaching my apartment’s door, i feel my steps getting smaller and slower but my children cheering me.. ‘mummy! mummy! faster! faster!’, i guess they are having so much fun. Once the door opened, Sean ran to the toilet… so kesian my son, he really had the diarrhea again.

I let them watched TV, while i prepared food for everybody in the kitchen but i can feel my body aching so badly. My husband reached home at 8.30pm, everybody tired and sleepy.

For me, i can still feel my body aching…really bad. I got really sick with flu, swollen tonsil, i need to get rid of my toxic in my body system, i might need colon cleanser to get rid of that. I pray to God to give me strength to take care of my family and our family always blessed with good health.

I heard people in the office talking about the rumours that the Petrol Stations in the states will be on strike but i don’t really care about it, my mind was thinking about Chrissa.  I heard one of my friends keep on calling his friends informing his friends about it (che.. he is one of them who spread rumours).

I was rushing home yesterday after Chrissa’s nanny called me that Chrissa got diarrhea again..  I went out early from the office, fetch Sean at 2.30pm.   On my home, i got stuck in the jam, there were long queues at the Esso Petrol Stations… ‘aiya this rumours spread so fast’.   Seriously, i never thought its going to be like this but managed to passed the the 1st Esso Station within 20 minutes wait.  The road was cleared but until i reached the Bundusan-Beverly’s junction, oh my.. it was massive jams, lucky Sean stayed calm even though one hour on the road.  I  know he felt uneasy under the burning sun.

Once we passed the petrol station, i went to Wong Kwok wet market to buy vege and foods.  I reached home at 4.20pm, bring all the things, sean’s bag to our 2nd floor apartment, changed my clothes and went to get Chrissa at the other block.

What a day for everybody! 

I woke up this morning and i asked my son if he is feeling alright and ready to go to school. To my surprise he went out from the room and took off his pajamas, so i guess he is ready, while Chrissa still looks sleepy but when she saw her brother getting ready to school, she said she wants to go to school. Chrissa took her bath and wear nice dress, i packed their bags, since Chrissa thought she is going with her brother, i filled water into the cartoon tumbler.

Everything were ready and off we go…. i send Chrissa to my neighbour’s house nearby, she took care of Chrissa since she was a baby. Sean seems happy to go to school after being absent for a day and so the driver a.k.a. my husband went to work… how i hate driving… my turn to drive myself to work. So here i am at work but on standby in case anyone of them not feeling well, i might just get ready anytime.

I never though being a mother is going to be this though but it pays back when i look at my children wave goodbye and said their sorry if they did something wrong, the words ‘i love you, mummy’ always makes me happy indeed.

After all this tiring journey, i feels like my family need a vacation and i will used the voucher that my boss gave me but before that i need to buy swimsuit for Chrissa, she loves to swim.

Chrissa will look great on either one of these swimsuits and she have interest in swimming i might send her to swimming class. Who knows she might be the next Nurul Huda Abdullah... winning golds for the olimpics.

My mum called me on Thursday that my Chrissa was not feeling well.  My husband was Off-day on that day.. i had to do this on my own.  I leave early from the office, i reached my parent’s home at 4.00pm, took Chrissa and drive to fetch my son, Sean from school in Likas.  Sean’s teacher took Chrissa for a tour in the classroom… she loves it.

Sean was sitting at the back seat while Chrissa at the passenger seat in front but she feels so tired that she have to sit on my lap…   I cant refused, she was so tired and sleepy… she falls asleep on my moving arm… so kesian… lucky Sean was busy coloring his book.

That night Chrissa vomited and got her diarrhea again… oh my.. i rub balm oilmen to relieve her pain.  I didn’t get enough sleep.. kesian my baby girl.

Morning i have no choice but to send my husband to work and son to school… so i drove all the way to Likas with Chrissa.  On the way back home, we went to clinik in Bundusan… .i request for big bottle in case my son will kena.  I’m so happy that i was with her, taking care of her… exhausted but she really makes me feel good.  I asked my dad to fetch Sean from school because i don’t want him to get sick sharing the same air with us.

Sunday morning, my husband sent us to my parent’s house before he went to work…  My dad told me, my son kena diarrhea.. o doi… not again..  lucky my husband off day today…(monday).. so he have to take care of our children.  I might take my leave  tomorrow to take care of them.. adui.. what to do.. thats what we call… sacrifices.

Thank you Helen for being so kind to scan this article… this is so informative.

If i stumble and fall, i will stand and walk again.. If i failed, i will try strive to succeed.. I get emotional too, sometimes just cant hide the feelings. I have my way on how to release my stress, i cry out loud and pray to God… after that feel much better.. thats just my style. Sometimes you cant share personal problems to everybody, I need the right time and the right people to talk too.

I let out my stress by crying out loud to God, its helps me to forget the problems i had from my system memory.  I need time to heal, its hard to forgive and forget.. i need to do one thing at a time.

My principle, i try my best to cover my sadness and i dont like people to pity me.  Sometimes explanation make it even worse… just leave it as it is… move on to a new chapter. 

Stress can lead me to sickness and i don’t need that… need to be strong.  I am being positive in whatever things that happened in life.. life goes on… no need to cry, no need to stop.

We went to St. John, Tuaran church this morning and i see there are a lot of housing development on the way.  Its not only new housing but also apartments… Wow.. soon the road going to be busy once the housing occupied.  

I was surprised to see the price ‘RM335,00.00 on their billboard…  its so expensive.. i think the price are for the corner lots but i still think its too expensive for the area but i’m not sure how big the house is.   I hope the developer are using good quality of materials and maybe who knows they are using faucet brand for the kitchen and bathroom.

I would love to visit their show unit but unable too because we were rushing to go home after the Mass.  I will definately give you more information about the new housing area if i have the details.

My boss gave each of us RM180 Voucher to stay in one of the resort in Tuaran.  So i asked a silly questions..‘is it free?’… ‘well no its not, you need to pay RM180′.. my boss replied.  Just being curious, i called the resort about the voucher.. she said if normal rates its RM195, but with that voucher you will get the sea view.  Mmm okay.. so we are paying extra for the sea veiw?.. mm well i just keep the voucher .. its valid until December 2008.. who knows can go on holiday with that so-called special voucher.

But I really need a vacation,  just to relax myself and have fun with my family..  who knows somebody give me a free voucher to stay in St Barts Villa Rentals.. who knows.. it might be a dream come true someday.

The internet connection in the office are very slow.. i just cant do my assignment on time.  Lucky my brother let me use his celcom broadband, i am keeping up with my assignments… its cost lots of money.  I got so limited time and i need to keep my idea going.  Its been so long that i never work until midnight, for sure i will get dark circle around my eyes and i can see my pimples popping out.. ouch.. never mind i will use natural acne treatment to get rid of that… i dont care… as long as i my assignments completed on time and my money in the account.

I am almost done here… only few assignments to go… after this i can take my break and uuh i cant wait to withdraw my money from the paypal.

I am who i am, nobody can change how i feel.  I am a human being, i have feelings too.  Although sometimes you see me smile and laugh.. and even throw stupid jokes doesnt mean i dont feel hurt inside.  Its nobody fault .. this is just how i feel.

I am sorry if you think that i am being selfish by posting this story… this is how i let my feeling out.  Sometimes talking to people really hurts especially if they dont know how you feel.. and the worst part is being unappreciated. 

I am who i am, i work for money … to survive .. thats for sure and on top of that i am dedicated to do my job.  Sometimes i really feel like bullied, i mean.. yes call me in the middle of the night just to get information, being scolded on the phone just because i didnt answered the phone on time… and there were times that i was called at night just to asked me to go to come to the office at 7.30 in the morning.  I did everything they told me to do… ’stay back ok’… i stayed back… there are a few occasions that i have to fetch my son from his nursery and bring him to the office… just to make sure my job completed.. gosh..while others just say.. bye bye bye.. with reasons… i never come up with reason.. such an idiot me.

Mmmm i dont want any reward.. nope.. thats not me..but atleast an honest appreciation.  I wanted to cry .. yes i wanted too..but seems like no more tear drops..  I hate those people that keep on telling me ‘thank you shirley you did a good job’.. now i know they said that just to let me do what they want me to do… but at the end of the day.. you are history!

So i am who i am… blame it on the hormon… that i love being straight forward and not talking or complaining  behind.  This is not dedicated to anybody… its just how i feel.. i need to let it out… i’m not blaming anybody. 

Dont worry.. i am who i am, i dont need self defense products to get you out of my way.. i am strong .. and keep going strong.   I am thankful to my friends that understand me very much and give me support and encouragement.  

There are times that i really break down… but I know Jesus always hold my hands and lead my way.. he never leave me alone.