How to be a good Listener

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WHAT IS LISTENING

We can hear with our two ears, unless we have hearing problem, we can hear everything within hearing range. But this doesn’t necessarily mean you understand what you heard. Hearing is a physical and natural mental process. As we walk, we hear our footsteps, we can hear voices of people talking around us without really understand them and if our mind is conscious, we can hear any sounds even if its soft or far away. When we hear, we only perceive sounds but when we listen, our hearing is accompanied by a deliberate and purposeful act of the mind.

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According to research, the average listening efficiency rate in the business world is only 25 per cent. 85% of what we know is from listening, 45% of our time is spent on listening. A normal listener can only recall 50 per cent of the information conveyed after a 10 minute presentation and only 20% of it is remembered long term.

Listening is part of communication process and the most important role in the process. We listen to obtain information, to understand and to learn. Your listening skill has a major impact on the quality of your relationship with others and your job effectiveness. We communicate every day, we receive message by listening.

This article overviews three extremely important skills within the training of a guidance and counseling environment: active listening, the stages of listening and the barriers and how to deal with barriers in listening. Listening skills is a must learn skills for everyone, from students, teachers, parents, employee, employers and leaders. Not only it an important skills, but necessary in daily duties.

LISTENING SKILLS

THE IMPORTANCE OF LISTENING SKILLS

Effective listening is arguably one of the most important skills to have nowadays. Business people and employees need effective listening skills to solve complex problems and achieve company’s goal. Personal relationships need effective listening skills to face complicated issues together. Effective listening, on the other hand, is not about the words having delivered, it requires more than hearing the sounds transmitted. Effective listening encourages that we for understanding of what the other person talks about or feel. And we can do this by focusing on other the person, by thoughts and feelings and not only by words.

According to John C. Maxwell (The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork), creating positive change in an organization requires communication. Interaction fuels action. That is the power of the Law of Communication. Only with good communication can a team succeed-it doesn’t matter whether the team is a family, a company, a ministry, or a ball club. Effective teams have teammates who are constantly talking to one another. Communication increase commitment and connection; they in turn fuel action. If you want your team to perform at the highest level, the people on it need to be able to talk to and listen to one another.

There are for purpose of listening that makes this skill important.

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I. To Gain New Information and Ideas

One way of learning is by listening. For example, lecture in class can give you more understanding from what you read in your textbook, a customer bought a car by listening to a persuasive salesperson. New ideas are received daily, via the oral medium, if one listens. In other words, speakers must select reliable evidence. A goal is to arrive at a conclusion that is true, workable, and acceptable to many people.

II. To question and Test Evidence and Assumptions

When a speaker presents a message, much of what is said consists of facts (verifiable data) or opinions (inferences). Good listeners test those facts and opinions against assumptions and then question the speaker. You will get additional information and the selection of acceptable evidence and data by asking question and listening.

III. To be inspired

Listening to Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech can be inspiring. Sales Manager for example, gives motivation speech to his or her team. In order to inspire and be inspired, you have to listen to others.
You have to listen to others, pay attention to their ideas and concerns, help them solve their problems, and be open to their influence. When you show your openness to their ideas and your interest in their concerns, your constituents will be more open to yours.

IV. Improve Your Own Communication

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Role models and mentors are valuable to young people entering the business world. If your role model is an effective communicator, learn from them. There are also ways to study communicators, such as attending seminar, listening to great speaker on YouTube or television or join public speaking such as toastmaster. Choose the best techniques, listen for and adopt those that are done well. Add them to your list of desirable attributes. Omit undesirable habits that you see and hear.

STAGES IN LISTENING SKILLS

To be a better communicator and listening skills, it is important to learn each stage for these skills. There are four stages in listening skills, the first stage is receiving, secondly is understanding, third stage is evaluating and last stage is responding. Here are the stages in listening skills and tips for improvement.

  1. RECEIVING

The first stage of the listening process is the receiving stage, which involves hearing and attending. In order to gather information, we must be able to physically hear what we are listening to. The clearer it is, the easier it is to listen and understand.

Listening begins with receiving messages the speaker sends. Paired with hearing, attending is the other half of the receiving stage in the listening process. Attending is the process of accurately identifying and interpreting particular sounds we hear as words. The sounds we hear have no meaning until we give them their meaning in context. In listening you receive both the verbal and the nonverbal messages, not only the words but also the gestures, facial expressions, variations in volume and rate.

Listeners are often bombarded with a variety of auditory stimuli all at once, so they must differentiate which of those stimuli are speech sounds and which are not. Effective listening involves being able to focus in on speech sounds while disregarding other noise.

For example, your friend wants to tell you a story at a noisy restaurant, your friend is pouring her heart out, you as a listener needs to ignore the other sounds to listen and understand what she is trying to convey.
To receive the message well, you should:

• Look for feedback in response to previous message;
• Avoid distractions in the environment and focus attention on the speaker rather than on what you’ll say next; and
• Avoid interrupting the speaker until he or she is finished and maintain your role as a listener.

UNDERSTANDING

The second stage is the listening process is the understanding process, which you learn what the speaker means. This understanding must take into consideration both the thoughts that are expressed and the emotional tone that accompanies them, the urgency or the joy or sorrow expressed in the message.
This is the stage during which the listener determines the context and meanings of the words he or she hears. Determining the context and meaning of individual words, as well as assigning meaning in language, is essential to understanding sentences. This, in turn, is essential to understanding a speaker’s message.

Understanding what we hear is a huge part of our everyday lives, particularly in terms of gathering basic information. For instance, in the office, employees listen to their superiors for instructions about what they are to do. At school, students listen to teachers to learn new information and knowledge. But without understanding what we hear, none of this everyday listening would relay any practical information to us.

The simple act of listening to what other people have to say and appreciating their unique points of view demonstrates your respect for them and their ideas. Being sensitive to what others are going through creates bonds that make it easier to accept one another’s guidance and advice. These actions build mutual empathy and understanding, and that in turn build trust.

To improve your understanding;
• Ask questions to clarify or to secure additional details or examples if necessary.
• See the speaker’s messages from the speaker’s point of view. Avoid judging the message until you’ve fully understood it—as the speaker intended it.
• Rephrase the speaker’s ideas in your own words.

EVALUATING

This stage of the listening process is the one during which the listener assesses the information received, both qualitatively and quantitatively. Evaluating allows the listener to form an opinion of what she’s heard and, if necessary, to begin developing a response.

During the evaluating stage, the listener determines whether or not the information she’s heard and understood from the speaker is well constructed or disorganized, biased or unbiased, true or false, significant or insignificant. This stage of critical analysis is important for a listener in terms of how what she’s heard will affect her own ideas, decisions, actions, and/or beliefs. Evaluating consists of judging messages in some way. At times, you may try to evaluate the speaker’s underlying intent. Often this evaluation process goes on without much conscious thought.

The evaluating stage occurs most effectively once the listener fully understands what the speaker is trying to say. While we can, and sometimes do, form opinions of information and ideas that we don’t fully understand–or even that we misunderstand–doing so is not often ideal in the long run. Having a clear understanding of a speaker’s message allows a listener to evaluate that message without getting bogged down in ambiguities or spending unnecessary time and energy addressing points that may be tangential or otherwise nonessential.
In evaluating, try to:
• Resist evaluation until you fully understand the speaker’s point of view.
• Give the speaker the benefit of any doubt by asking for clarification on issues that you feel you must object to, if any.
• Distinguish facts from inferences opinions, and personal interpretations by the speaker.
• Identify any biases, self-interests, or prejudices that may lead the speaker to slant unfairly what is presented.

RESPONDING

The responding stage is the stage of the listening process wherein the listener provides verbal and/or nonverbal reactions based on short- or long-term memory.  A listener can respond to what she hears either verbally or non-verbally. Nonverbal signals can include gestures such as nodding, making eye contact, tapping her pen, fidgeting, scratching or cocking her head, smiling, rolling her eyes, grimacing, or any other body language. These kinds of responses can be displayed purposefully or involuntarily. Responding verbally might involve asking a question, requesting additional information, redirecting or changing the focus of a conversation, cutting off a speaker, or repeating what a speaker has said back to her in order to verify that the received message matches the intended message.

Nonverbal responses like nodding or eye contact allow the listener to communicate her level of interest without interrupting the speaker, thereby preserving the speaker/listener roles. When a listener responds verbally to what she hears and remembers—for example, with a question or a comment—the speaker/listener roles are reversed, at least momentarily.

Responding adds action to the listening process, which would otherwise be an outwardly passive process. Oftentimes, the speaker looks for verbal and nonverbal responses from the listener to determine if and how her message is being understood and/or considered. Based on the listener’s responses, the speaker can choose to either adjust or continue with the delivery of her message. For example, if a listener’s brow is furrowed and her arms are crossed, the speaker may determine that she needs to lighten her tone to better communicate her point. If a listener is smiling and nodding or asking questions, the speaker may feel that the listener is engaged and her message is being communicated effectively.  Be a good responder by using these tips:
• Express support for the speaker in your final responses. Be honest; the speaker has a right to expect honest responses, even if these express anger or disagreement.
• State your thoughts and feelings as your own, using I-messages. For example, say “I think the new proposal will entail greater expense than you outlined” rather than “Everyone will object to the plan for costing too much.”

BARRIERS TO LISTENING

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There are many things that get in the way of listening and you should be aware of these barriers, many of which are bad habits, in order to become a more effective listener. Thus, it is beneficial if we can understand and eliminate listening barriers that blocks deep, harmonious and lasting relationships. We feel that listening is easy as just give an ear or to reply without understanding the whole message and this is can be a barriers to effective listening.  A barrier is anything that gets in the way of clear communications. There are many barriers which come in the way of effective listening. Some of which are as following;

Prejudice against the Speaker

Prejudice is a preconceived opinion of feeling, which is usually irrational. We are distracted and unable to maintain attention because of our conflicts with our attitudes. With your critical evaluations of the speaker’s position, attitude, appearance or belief, you will not focus on the message or information the speaker trying to give. A prejudiced person will not make any effort to listen and understand.

External Distractions

Physical or environment, such as inappropriate décor in a room, the light too bright or too dim, the sound of the fan or music background too loud. Environment condition such as, the room being too hot or too cold are the external distraction for listener. Having your mobile phone on can be distracting too as you have tendency to always check whenever it ring or vibrate. Sitting near talkative or disturbing individuals can also distract listener’s attention from the speaker’s message.

Internal distraction

We react emotionally to certain words, concept and ideas given from the speakers. Also by looking at the speaker’s appearance and other cues, we tend to judge and questions and within ourselves. With this emotional reaction within us, we cannot focus on what the person trying to convey. Internal reaction words vary from person to person, each list influenced by feelings, attitudes, prejudices and biases we carry inside ourselves. Hence, some words cause negative reactions.

Experiencing physical difficulty

Feeling physically unwell, experiencing pain or hungry can make it very difficult to listen effectively. Imagine a person who has headache or migraine, the only things he or she can focus is the pain in their head.

Experiencing Information Overloaded

Most of us speak between 80 and 160 words per minute. Yet people have the capacity to think at the phenomenal rate of up to 800 words per minute. That leaves time on the listener’s hands (or in his or her head). Too much stimulation or information can make it shift their attention away from the speaker’s words.

Excessive Talking

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People with good conversational skills are more likely to achieve professional success. We want to anticipate in the conversation, you interrupted even before they completed their thought. Directly as a result of our rapid thinking speed, we race ahead to what we feel is the conclusion. We anticipate. We arrive at the concluding thought quickly-although often one that is quite different from the speaker intended.

However, taking more than necessary is a barrier to effective communication. People hesitate to interact with a person who talks excessively without listening to them. They may also get bored and excessive talking may be perceived as aggression. When we spend our listening time formulating our next response, we cannot be fully attentive to what the speaker is saying.

DEALING WITH BARRIERS TO LISTENING

There is always solution to every problem. Here are the some steps and suggestions to overcome the barriers to listening.

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Overcoming Prejudice

Respect the other person for his or her knowledge and skills. The moment we stop listening, we stop learning, especially if the person gives important information or knowledge. Be open-minded to listen and learn from other people, irrespective of the person’s background. Make conscious effort to take charge of your thoughts and avoid saying “I know what he or she is going to say” attitude while the other person is speaking. Remember that you don’t have to agree with everything, but it’s helpful if you at least consider listening.

Get Comfortable

In order to get yourself from the external distraction, you could try change the environment, for example ask to reduce the aircond’s temperature if it’s too cold, or change seat where is more comfortable. Learn not only to put your mobile phone on silent mode but switch it off. But if there is nothing you can change during that situation, you should learn to focus on the speaker rather than the environment around you. Face the person who is speaking and maintain eye contact while the other person is speaking.

The Art of Listening

As most of us have a lot of internal self-dialogue we spend a lot of time listening to our own thoughts and feelings – it can be difficult to switch the focus from ‘I’ or ‘me’ to ‘them’ or ‘you’. Effective listening involves opening your mind to the views of others and attempting to feel empathetic.
According to Daniel Goleman (Working with Emotional Intelligence), Listening well and deeply means going beyond what is said by asking questions, restating in one’s own words what you hear to be sure you understand. This is “active” listening. A mark of having truly heard someone else is to respond appropriately, even if that means making some change in what you do.

Reschedule Meeting

If you experience physical difficulty, you may need to get excuse and reschedule the meeting to another day. It is impossible to concentrate when you are unwell, experience pain or hungry. Otherwise, you may need to concentrate even more on the task of listening.

Stop and Listen

Focus on the other person, their thoughts and feelings. Consciously focus on quieting your own internal commentary, and step away from your own concerns to think about those of the speaker. Listen for the essence of the speaker’s thoughts, ideas and meaning. Seek and understanding of what the speaker is trying to convey.

Think Before You Speak

In order to overcome excessive talking habit, you should learn to think before you speak. Do not speak if you have nothing to contribute. Always practice self-control and be brief while conveying your thoughts. Allow the other person to speak, avoid interrupting when the other person is speaking and be aware of indulging in useless talk for the sake of talking. If you seek to clarify something, use appropriate body language such as raising your hand or ask politely for more details such as “I am sorry to interrupt you…”.

CONCLUSION

My research for this article, with reference from books and online articles shows that listening skill is an important skill.  Not only important for those in counselling field but apply to all, from family to business people. Listening skills are crucial to parents, as this skill helps them listen and understand their children. Students will be able to understand more on what their teachers present by listening attentively. Listening skills is a must learn skills for everyone, from students, teachers, parents, employee, employers and leaders. Not only it an important skills, but necessary in daily duties.

The four stages of listening is important to understand. The first stage of the listening process is the receiving stage, which involves hearing and attending. In order to gather information, we must be able to physically hear what we are listening to. The second stage is understanding, where we need to understand the message conveyed to us, the third stage is to evaluate the message and lastly after we respond after analyzing using the earlier stages.

It is important to learn and understand these stages of listening, to improve our communication skills. We overlook this skill as it sound easy but having said that, we create our own barrier of listening.  To conclude, I believe listening skill are more than a skill, it is a job and duties which can help us in our daily lives. It is important to learn how to listen, by listening we are learning.

Notes :  This article in assignment layout are available upon request

 

REFERENCES
Online
Active Listening Hear What People are Really Saying(online)https://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm. Retrieved on 4 July 2016
Active Listening Skills. Anna Martin. 23 May 2016. The Counsellors Guide. (Online) http://www.thecounsellorsguide.co.uk/active-listening-skills.html. Retrieved on 9 July 2016
Communication Skills: Speaking and Listening. University of Kent. (online) https://www.kent.ac.uk/careers/sk/communicating.htm#Listening. Retrieved on 3 July 2016
Bethamy, P. Roger. Listening and Responding to Others. Communication in a Changing World. (online) http://highered.mheducation.com/sites/0072332123/student_view0/chapter4/index.html. Retrieved on 9 July 2016
Effective Communication. Help Guid.Org (Online) http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/effective-communication.htm. Retrieved on 14 July 2016
Effective Listening: 10 Barriers and How to Overcome Them. http:/ by: Srikanth Radhakrishna • edited by: Donna Cosmato • updated: 10/24/2014 (Online) Bright Hub PM. www.brighthubpm.com/resource-management/122339-effective-listening-10-barriers-and-how-to-overcome-them/ Retrieved on 14 July 2016
Listening Skills. Skills You Need. (online) http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/listening-skills.html. Retrieved on 4 July 2016
The Importance of Listening. Boundless (Online) https://www.boundless.com/communications/textbooks/boundless-communications-textbook/learning-to-listen-and-helping-others-do-the-same-5/understanding-listening-29/the-importance-of-listening-132-8285/. Retrieved on 8 July 2016
Books
Goleman, D. (1999). Working with Emotional Intelligence. New York, USA: Bantam Books.
Maxwell, J. C. (2001). The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork. Nashville, Tenesse, USA: Thomas Nelson.
Milne, A. (2014). Understanding Counselling. Euston Road, London: Hodder Education.
Kouzes, J., & Posner, B. (2012). The Leadership Challenge (5th ed.). One Montgomery Street, San Francisco, USA: Jossey-Bass.

Five Summer Jobs For Teachers That Still Offer Freedom

Teachers are some of the hardest-working — and often, least-appreciated — people in the world, and when summertime rolls around, most kids are given several weeks off to take a vacation and sleep in every day… but what do their teachers get? Unless you have been in education for several years and have a nice cushion to fall back on during breaks, it can be difficult to make it through the summer without picking up at least a part-time job.

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Unfortunately, that’s not much of a break, and planning a vacation can be nearly impossible, especially if you’re just starting out as an educator. However, there are several jobs out there that are great for teachers and still offer some freedom, so that summer months don’t feel quite so restrictive. Here are five of the best.

 

Protect your community members as a lifeguard

If you live near a pool — or if you’re lucky enough to reside close to the beach — there may be lifeguard jobs available throughout the summer. You can look online for local classes offering lifesaving certification, then invest in some sunblock and enjoy the fresh air. While being responsible for several swimmers isn’t exactly stress-free, it is a great way to earn money while maintaining a flexible schedule (and getting in a swim now and then).

Become a dog-walker via Rover.com

Becoming a caregiver of an animal — either as a pet sitter or dog walker — can be highly rewarding as well as flexible, and sites like Rover.com offer a place to connect with pet owners, arrange face-to-face meet-ups, and work out payment details.

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There could be dozens of people in your area who need a responsible person to come to their home while they’re at work and let out their dog, or simply give the pet some affection during the long afternoon hours.

 

Provide needed help as a tutor/instructor

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With your experience in teaching, landing a tutoring gig over the summer should be easy and can be done on your schedule. You might even be able to do it from the comfort of your own home, or at a nearby library. You can also check with children’s museums and local pottery, painting, or art classes to see if they’re hiring instructors or artists.

 

Use your writing skills

 

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Writing can be a very fulfilling way to earn extra cash during school breaks, especially if you can find an outlet that will allow you to write about what you know. Having knowledge about education and children can give you a leg up on the competition, and many blogs, online magazines, and publications such as Chicken Soup For The Soul are always on the lookout for well-written essays and articles. Freelancing offers the ability to work from home, and you can almost always set your own schedule to a certain degree.

Look for childcare opportunities

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Having experience with children can lead to well-paying summer jobs, whether you want to work part-time at a daycare center or full-time for a parent who needs a caregiver for their child while they go to work. The latter will almost always offer more freedom, especially if you can babysit an older child who doesn’t need constant supervision. Many moms and dads will pay well to keep from having to take their child to an expensive summer camp or daycare during school breaks, and some may give you permission to take the child to the pool or other fun places during the day.

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Finding summer work may seem like a not-so-fun task at first, but if you’re able to find something that gives you flexibility so that you can enjoy your time off, it can be a fun experience. Check local want-ads for childcare needs or, if you have a good relationship with a couple of the parents in your classroom, let them know that you’re available.

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About the writer

Joyce Wilson loved being a teacher, and though she has recently retired, she hasn’t lost that passion. She continues to educate (and help educators) by mentoring teachers in her area. She is also the co-creator of TeacherSpark.org, a resource for teachers to gather fun, engaging lesson ideas and activities.

The Unplanned Holiday

I wanted to post about our recent trip but i just keep forgetting about it, the smell of the peppermint oil i used while traveling anchored and reminded me of that day.

It was the mid year school holiday, kids were at their cousin for few days and after that I took two days off to stay at home with them, not doing anything, just like a normal weekend and my typical work when i am at home, the housework just never ends.

It was friday and school day just around the corner, my husband decided we travel to Labuan that Saturday, just for fun and at the same time visiting my sister who was just had her operation.  The first thing i did was to prepare my kids stuff for school and get them to prepare their books.

The Journey Begins

So on Saturday (11 June 2016), at 8.00 am, after taking our breakfast at the ‘mamak’ restaurant, we drive to Menumbok.  Arrived around 10.00am, parked our car at one of the houses that provided a daily/weekly car park for public.

Alternative

If you taking your vehicle with you, of course you need to use the ferry but if you tend to leave your vehicle behind.. you can either choose to go by speed boat, which is so fast or ferry (different time, different type of ferry).

Since we were not taking our car, we decided to take the adventurous ride… the ‘speed boat‘.  I was worried at first, but when i see there were parents and  kids were at the counter, we thought.. why not.

The Speed Boat

While we were going into the speed boat, i wanted to take my handphone and take a snap but my husband was looking at me like he want to ‘eat’ me..hahaha.  But luckily i saw his ‘look’ or else i might either drop my handphone down or i fall, because i didn’t get my body balance right when i was to enter the boat.  So there is no picture of the speed boat.. neither from outside or inside.

To get you visual how it looks.. i got this picture from google just to give you the rough idea on how the speed boat look like.

Picture courtesy from google picture

Picture courtesy from google picture

I was sitting almost near to the driver, inside the boat are old and rusty.  It was smooth sailing but there were times i feel thrown from the seat.. well there is no seat belt, so i was holding the seat so tight. I don’t know where to look, the sea, the people sitting in front of me or the driver.  “Mummy saya mau muntah” (i want to vomit) says one kid to his mum.  “jangan kama, saya tiada bawa plastik ni” (warned her child that she did not bring any plastic bag if they want to throw up.)  Damn! and i picture the scenario in my head.. no!!

The Essential Young Living Oil

Yes, i prepared for this so i bring with me 3 types of essential living oil.  Peppermint, Melalueca and  Lavendar.   The Peppermint smell makes me wide awake and fresh the whole journey.

It took only 25 minute for us to reach Labuan.. phew..glad we landed.   My son look pale.. hehe but my daughter find the ride interesting . .  . . eeer seriously?

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The Walking GPS

Again no picture were taken.  As we arrived, without asking my nephew to pick us up, my husband and my daughter just walk in front of us searching for the hotel we already booked using GPS app in the handphone.  After few kilometers walk under the sun., i called the hotel for their location, well lucky we just need to cross the road and once we reached the destination, we were sweating wet as if we were walking under the rain.

Chocolate, Liquor and Lots of Chocolate

We visited my sister, hand around for a while and after that is just shop shop shop.  Labuan is popular for shopping destination for alcohol beverages and chocolates.

Heading Home

We had an enjoyable fun stay in Labuan, the next day we head home in the afternoon using the ferry.  It feels like years, because the only available ferry was the longest in service and the oldest of all ferry.  It was like 3 long hours, warm but just a time to relax and enjoy the ride.

Why No Picture?

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I feel bad that not much picture in this post but i feel happy that i did not ‘snap’ every single thing we do.   We feel the moment of the togetherness and experience the true quality time.

The picture we created in our children’s memory are more memorable than the picture we took.  They kept the beautiful memory in their mind and keep it as their ‘precious moment list’.

Its fun traveling with family and its more interesting when its unplanned holiday.  Unplanned holiday gets the kids more excited for the journey.  Life is fun when we break our routines and makes some surprises.

Till another surprise!

Videos You Must Watch To Have Youthful Skin

Looking at myself in the mirror,  a lady at her early 40s, with few grey hair..  hiding in between the dye burgundy hair.  Fine yet visible line and wrinkles here and there, uneven and unhealthy skin.  How

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I get tempted when i receive any beauty treatment brochure and card or new new skin care product and supplement that proven to make you look younger than your age.  For sure the good product comes with good price but somehow not all the product suits your skin.  There was one time, i tried a product after a good review from friends but when i put it on my face it feels so tight, well i thought its the effect but it got worsen with itchy red dots on my face.  Its just doesn’t suits me, so i stop.  Now i am happy with just simple skincare i bought from Watson.

Now that i am at my 40s, i want to learn more on how to age beautifully.  Allowing myself to grow ..not old but wise.   I have been trying to know if there anyway of having youthful skin the cheapest way.   And its true that to have radiant and beauty skin are not by using skincare alone but from deep within and some technique.  Trying to answer my own question, i did some research and today I am sharing with you how we can do it.

THE TOUCH

There are some technique that helps us get that radiant, healthy skin without any injection or knife under the skin…just by using the touch of your fingers and the right methods both using massage and workout.

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Here are few videos collection i found on website for you to try.  I didn’t know there are different types of massage but i have here..

  1. Tanaka Face Self Massage
  2. Face Gym
  3. Yoga


TANAKA FACE SELF MASSAGE

FACE GYM

 

YOGA


 

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What great about this method is that its free, you can do it anywhere and anytime.  Ask someone to massage for you or just Do It Yourself!  You can even do face exercise while driving, as long as you can focus on your driving and don’t mind people call you crazy.

Have fun trying and please don’t forget to SMILE!

 

 

How To Shift Your Emotions

I  was looking through www.musiciansfriend.com website to get information and updates on new music instrument, while listening to music, it was ‘Happy’ by Pharrel Williams.  The music bring me back to the cinema, imagining the big screen, smelling and eating popcorn, i hear laughter and sees my family with me, really makes my day.  Wow! music is really powerful, it anchor our emotions and feelings…it bring us back to the important memories that we keep in our mind.

Let me remind or refresh you how happy Gru was in Depicable Me 2 when he falls in love and was on ‘cloud nine’.  He was indeed so happy, excited and so deeply in love.

But can we really be happy instantly by listening to music or songs?  There are possibility but there are few steps you need to take before you can be happy.

Depending on what mood you are in right now.  As human, we tend to listen to music or songs that are related to our emotions, for example, you are having a relationship problems and you are in a confusion state of mind, i bet listening to ‘happy’ makes you more sad and angry.

ACCEPT AND RESPECT YOUR FEELINGS

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Don’t tell to my face.. ‘relax’ or ‘don’t get angry’ when i am angry.  Leave me alone, let me digest this feeling.. why am i angry and what trigger this emotions.   Being angry is not a sin, its part of our feelings but its important to learn to control your anger.  Don’t forget to breath deeply and do not log in into any social media as you will tend to express your anger in public.

BE LIKE TAYLOR SWIFT

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Be like this smart and intelligent young lady, Taylor Swift.  Write down your feelings, for her not only she feels better but she makes money out of it.  She produce great song from bad experiences..well, most artist does.

EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS

I don’t keep grudge that’s why if someone really pissed me off .. i get to the person ask what happened until i satisfied with the reason then i slowly … slowly .. forgive but will not forget, because a lesson should not be forgotten.  Once you feel calm and relax, you can ask or share your feelings with the person or someone else who can help you go through the situation.

Please make sure you sharing to the right person and communicate face to face or by calling.  Avoid using text, this will create miscommunication.  Sharing to the wrong or busybody friends will get you into trouble, you don’t want any story or text become a viral sensation…do you?

BACK ON TRACK

You can choose to stay angry or shift to different mood.  You can tell the world how sad your life is, how pathetic or sucks your life is or change!

Be emotional intelligent, you know what you capable of, how strong you are and how great you are.

emotionally-intelligent-56a792335f9b58b7d0ebc7d4

 

BE YOURSELF! BE HAPPY

great

 

Don’t compare yourself with other people.  Be yourself and be happy!  Yes ..no doubt we all have haters but there are people who loves and admire us.  Forget haters, they hates you because they actually wanted to be like you and that’s for sure.

LISTEN TO GREAT MUSIC

When you feel sad, don’t listen to much of romantic sad songs or heavy metal that lead you head banging.  There is nothing wrong with what music you want to listen as long as it helps heals your pain and calm your mind.. go for it!  I still recommend #pharrelwilliams #happy song.

 

There is another song that really can makes your ego grow a little wild and gives your confident a boost if you are a woman.  I assure you, when you listen to this song, you will feel like walking in front of the jerks and just walk.. Thank you Tom Jones for this awesome sexy song.

I hope you enjoy reading my simple tips and personal opinion.  Have a great weekend!

Sincerely,

Shirley a.k.a beautiza

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